Moments...

Every moment seems like a decade but courage will prevail. I keep reminding myself of that rainy day. The day when rains hadn't stopped for 3 days. Bringing the city to a standstill. That city which never stops was stopped by nature's fury. But for me my battle had just begun. I couldn't bow down. I wouldn't give up at this point.
I had booked the date. 4th of July. I had to make it to the exam centre. My plans were too tight roped to sustain a failure. I ventured out with a umbrella and a raincoat. Although the rains weren't that heavy, the main issue here was the flooding. No buses were running, rickshaws weren't in a state to go. I had to walk down. About 5 kms. Thats fine. I was used to walking long distances. What I wasn't used to was walking through waist deep water. And believe it or not there were many people like me. I was actually walking through a sea of people on the busy Andheri Kurla road. Completely drenched by now, I was wondering how it could get worse. Well, it just did. I reached a point where the Mithi river was overflowing. The current was so strong, I was almost dragged of my feet. It was sheer human conviction that proded me on.
I finally managed to reach the test centre. A posh, suave building. Not a scar on it. Glass doors, electronic security and I! Gutter water dripping my Jeans. Hair like a crow, looking like a frog. Fortunately the test centre staff was considerate enough. Just one other student had managed to reach that morning. I was wondering how the staff had actually reached there. I tried drying myself in the restroom, not very sucessfully though. Then I sat for the exam.
Shivering in the AC, I gave my best shot. At the end of it when I got my range, that moment I felt I had crossed my first hurdle. That moment for me was a victory, in my own small sweet way. Victory against circumstances, victory of will over obstacle.
It is such moments that change one as a person. Transform you into a stronger individual. These moments stay with you for life to draw courage in all those dark times in the future when you won't see a way out. Moments that can change lives.

Strangers At Last Sight

“Let us become strangers once again. Lets forget the good times we had together and bid farewell to the past. And let us agree, for one last time that if ever we meet by accident, lets pretend that we never knew eachother. This is the end of the road for us. A road, which has been beautiful and enjoyable but was bumpy at the end. Lets not take bad memories of this journey as the good ones will give us happiness and hope and the bad ones will only remind me of you.”
This might sound like a tragic end to a passionate love story, but it is not. This is a logical end to a troubled friendship. Sometimes it could be harder to break off a friendship than breaking off with your girlfriend. Especially if he is the one you shared your deepest thoughts with. Especially if you think he is the only person who can understand you or give you the best advice in troubled times. Especially if you believe that he is your best friend, regardless of the fact that you may not be his best friend.
Trust is one of the most essential ingredients in any successful relationship and once the trust is lost, it is the signal of bad times to come. As you would dread to share your emotions with someone you don’t trust. And then at the smallest instance of breach of trust one would jump to extreme conclusions. I know all this might sound a little complex and a bit crazy but sometimes relationships end up getting this complex . Then why do we continue such relationships? Just for the reason that we have known eachother for long or we had trusted eachother in the past. It is better to end a friendship rather than getting irritated every time we see eachother.
But is it so easy to forget someone? Especially someone you would fall back on in those troubled times or at those times when you feel ecstatic and you know there would be no one happier for you than him. After all those good times keep haunting you when you sit alone in your room, no one to talk to and no one to share your feelings with. You keep feeling that this is the time you need him the most.
I have been through this phase in my life but at the end of it I have turned out to be a stronger person. Somewhere deep down this painful experience has given a slow death to the vulnerable human in me. Though I am sure that this plant of vulnerability will not die so easily. It will be brought back to life by the slightest touch of love or friendship. Often we tend to give problems more importance than they actually deserve and indulge in a vicious cycle of fault finding. What all this process leads to, is a further deterioration of the relationship. Some would suggest that one way of solving a problem would be just ignoring it. Including the person in a so-called “ignore list”. But does this method really work? It may work to a certain extent for the person making the list but what about the person in the list? He keeps wondering how long will I be on the list? Many a times the person wouldn’t even know that he is on the list. But why should one spend time wondering about such lists. Such lists are highly insensitive to the feelings of the other person and if anyone has kept you in such a list then why even care about it, since he doesn’t even deserve that much attention. Though it might be difficult not to give the person your attention. The reason being that you can’t simply forget the times you spent together.
It is very difficult to tear out those long years of friendship from the novel of your life, which might not be as big as “Lord Of The Rings”. Though it could as short as Eric Seagul’s “Love Story”. We have a short life and why waste it on such petty issues. It is best for the sake of all to move on in life, meet new people and start new stories rather than stretching the old ones that have already gone out of limits. Let’s just forget whatever happened in the past. If that’s not possible, then lets just forget eachother and become past for eachother. If that’s the way we could remain happy and cheerful, it’s best to be strangers at last sight.

-Abhijeet Nandy
Spring, 2003

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If last weekend made me ecstatic, this one is gloomy. Times running out and I haven't got off the mark yet. I hope Ganpati gives me some joy before he leaves.