Dream Crasher

When I had first joined the MBA program, I was aksed by our career management services to take a career test. The career test had a section where I had to fill my top five dream companies. I filled:

1. Lehman Brothers
2. Merrill Lynch
3. Goldman Sachs
4. Morgan Stanley
5. I dont even remember now, it was just to fill up the last spot

All my dream companies have either crashed, been acquired or will never be the same again. The last week has crashed the main reasons for which I joined the MBA program - to be an investment banker with one of these investment banks. Till a couple weeks back, a million guys would kill to have that job. Now, a million guys are being fired from their jobs. What tricks time plays! Some people don't believe in destiny, perhaps last week's crash might make them rethink. Change is inevitable, my dreams have to turn a new leaf, better late than never.

Bad Timing

For a batsman (cricketer), timing is very important. If you can hit the ball at the right moment then you don't need all your power to hit the ball out of the park. This rule works for tennis too. This rule also works for careers. Now, take my case for instance. Graduating from MBA (in Finance)at a time when the biggest banks on Wall Street are falling like a pack of cards. America and possibly the world is facing its worst economic crisis in decades. If I had graduated in a boom period (like I did after my engineering), I wouldn't have to use even half of my power or energy to search for an elusive job.

So what can we do to prevent bad timing. Nothing much, its not hard to predict when the market will plunge into recession. Well, I say that because if you note recession and boom periods in last two decades we can observe that they come after every 5 to 6 year periods. However, what is harder to predict is which sector will be the worst affected. Late last century it was the IT industry and now it is the financial sector.

Now let me become an astrologer and predict when will the boom period be back. I say, it will be 2011-2012 and that would last till 2016. Which sector will be next to crash? I think the media industry. Ask me the reason and I will tell you I don't know why!

Of struggle and more

Its been over two weeks now that I am living in Toronto. But Canada's biggest city doesn't even have the smallest of jobs for me. Its just amazing that how I apply to so many places and just get no replies back. Its almost as if those emails go into a black hole. A black hole of HR or a recruitment firm. Now, I have a friend who works for one such recruitment firm and he offers me advice almost in sympathy, I feel sometimes. He would tell me, dude you can get a job within a month, max! Now after two weeks its changed to, its time that you start making those cold calls or go to the office and meet the recruiter. Almost sounds as if he says, Ghar pe baithe baithe job nahi milta. Oooof. My frustration is dripping through this blog.

But you tell me, is it that easy to pick the phone and call any office and say, I need a job. I mean, many people tell me thats the way to go but I just can't get myself to do it. It just seems absurd. Almost like telemarketing, except that I will be selling myself here. Going and just dropping into an office is even worse. Its like the height of desperation. And the worst part is that I made a promise to myself to go to India in October. Now, I stare at a prospect of returning to India without a job and I can't even start saying how messed up that will make my vaccation. A vaccation across seven seas when the credit is just pilling up, two years back I would have never guessed that this would be me. So on this Friday night of frustration and despair, I hope I somehow find the courage to pick up the phone and start taking that next step which may, just may help me find that elusive job. Or else the struggler will have to go back home, not for good though.

Yeh hai Mumbai meri Jaan

I have had an unbelievable couple of weeks. I still don't have a job and am paying a crazy amount to rent out a den in Toronto. However, that was expected and is quite believable. Whats unbelievable are the movies I have been watching. Hindi movies have never been so good, so consistently. Is it me whos missing Mumbai or are the movies really good?

I loved Bachna Ae Haseeno, then came Rock On which truly ROCKED! Then I watched A Wednesday. Coincidentally it was on a Wednesady midnight(not planned at all), amazing, just too good! I don't remember the last time I saw a good movie about a issue which I feel so strongly about. Today I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan and once again it did not dissapoint me. Once again, it touched a few issues I feel very strongly about. Here I have to mention, other than the terrorism and communal tension issues, the aspect which this movie potrayed very well was the issue of media tamasha in India today. I still remember how I would always taunt my sister and mom for watching those dramatic news programs on Star News. It was about time someone told these so called journalist that something has gone terribly wrong!
This year I have seen some real high quality work from Bollywood. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na was excellent and so were the ones I mentioned above. Let me say here that I still haven't seen Aamir which is again supposed to be top class. Mumbai film industry seems to be having a good year. On the other hand the city is having a tense year. What with Raj T, poisoning minds of people at every opportunity he gets. I hope all this politics dies down very soon and we can once again see the true spirit of brotherhood in Mumbai. I was born twenty seven years ago in that city. I have learnt to live and let live in that city. The city has taught me how to love and how hate creates only hate. The city has taught me why we should enjoy life and why we should live every moment, without wasting time. The city has taught me to be ambitious and be professional every moment and then get personal with a complete stranger.

Mumbai, I miss you tonight.

Love, Sex & Guilt

In the last fortnight I have seen Bachna Ae Haseeno atleast six times. When I first saw this movie in the theatre I didn't think I would end up watching it so many times, over and over again. Ofcourse, the redundant viewings were online.

I am still trying to figure out what I love about this movie. Probably the fact the character grows up in a similar time era that I have, probably the fact that it is a light romantic comedy after a long time, probably I just love seeing movies filled with 'khunas'(As Bips put it) and guilt. I often wonder why do I feel the guilt after perfectly sane sex, while other times, feel no guilt after doing the most blasphemous of sex. Beats me! I go back and think I might have hurt people through this journey of life but who hasn't? I have been hurt so many times. Life is too short to have regrets, guilt and retain Khunas. But its hard to let go sometimes, forgiveness is much harder than hating someone!

Toronto Woes

After a sunny few days in California,I imagined that moving in to Toronto will be easy. Whom was I kidding? Rents are sky rocketing. Even with these rents, theres nothing decent to take out there. Job applications seem to always have a standard rejection reply. To be honest its just been a day and I need to show more patience here. However I dont have time! I have 4 days(including today) to get an apartment for myself. One where I could happily stay for the next 8 months. And I have 36 days to get a job, before I fly off to India for Durga Puja.
Whatever little life I have seen, I know that patience pays off. So I am trying to be very selective in the place I rent out and I am gonna hold out till the end. I think I am gonna let this one go down to the wire. I got a good apartment in Montreal last spring, maybe that was just luck. I want a good one here too!

Golden Day for India

Its a proud day for India as Abhinav Bindra won the first ever individual gold for India. I am so proud and sooo thrilled!!!

Ae mere huzoor e ala

Is dil ne phir wohi duaa ki...phir wohi khushi ki tamanaaa ki.
Saat samundaron ke faasley chote lagne lage...dilon ke kaafi lambe....
Aaj ka din tere liye khusiyaan laayen, tujhe meri duaaeen,
Zubaan ne dagaa de diya, lekin yh dil kaise dagaan de?

My Diary

Its the season of moving out of Montreal. I commence it with my move t Toronto on the 18th of this month. Considering that I am not sparing much time between finishing off my courses and moving(as usual), next week will be one hell of a week.
I plan to move in a more organised manner than I did last time!

So heres my diary for next week, till now!

Monday, 11th August

12.30pm: Meet Fay and sort out ISA printing issue with CSU
1.30pm: Meet SB for creating the quixtar website
2.15pm: Meet Uma for giving her the notes
3.00pm: Submit application for change of convocation date
6.30pm: Broffman Building, McGill, final presentation practice for Global Brands
9.40pm: Singh is Kinng, AMC

Tuesday, 12th August

12.30pm: Final print out of project & presentation
1.30pm: Dispose books
2.30pm: Backhome to prepare for the last presentation
5.00pm: ISA Meeting
6.00pm-9.30pm: Global Brands final presentation
9.45pm: Final Drinks with teammates


Wednesday, 13th August

10.00am: Call Mona
10.30am:PACKING STARTS
1.00pm: SB comes home,lunch
2.00pm: Furniture disposal starts
4.30pm: Hopefully we are done by then!
6.00pm: NRN picks up rest of the furniture
7.00pm: Dinner with NRN

Thursday, 14th August

10.00am:Packing continues
11.30am: Meet TH for lunch(making him feel guilty for missin ma farewell...
yes i m the devil:p)
2.00pm: Lunches with TH are never tht short but have to make it quick this time,
have to redirect mail and othr clerical stuff
4.00pm: Packing completes, clean up starts:kitchen day
6.00pm-10:00pm: Invigilation
10.30pm:Along with SM(the Yankee roomie, throw away livin room stuff


Friday, 15th August
7.00am:Clean up continues, my fav, the washroom!!!
8.30am: Be at ISA stall for I-Day celebrations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D
2.00pm: Back on hme front, clean up my room and cook for my ''Torontian Friends''
6.00pm-10:00pm: Invigilation
10.30pm: Receive my ''Torontian Friends''

Le weekend, I would like to keep for my last memories of Montreal...Toronto will be a new life in many ways, in many dimensions,lemme enjoy the last of Montreal! Maybe the last of student life too...

The Day Amitabh Bachchan responded to me :D

http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/2008/07/26/day-94/


he metions about a blogger who commented on him, calling Alimighty HE,

thats me :)....check his day 93 coments, u'll find my comment there :D


Check no. 288

http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/2008/07/25/day-93/?cp=all

Why is India not at War!

There have been two serial bomb blast in India in the last two days. Ahmedabad and Bangalore attacked, Surat was just saved in time, Jaipur,Mumbai,Malegaon,Hyderabad, the list keps growing. From malls to hospitals, its clear that the common Indian has been targeted. I have no doubt left in my mind that India has been attacked, unlike 1962 or 1971, this time its from inside.

The question remains, will India go on war or stay quiet and keep losing the war on teror. Till now, we are losing it, what will turn the tide?

Its time for India to go on war. Fight terror inside, with an iron hand. Fight terror outside where we can. How come when my countrymen cant get sleep, terror outfits in Bangladesh and Pakistan rest in peace. Attacking Pakistan is perhaps not strategically possible at this point of time. However Bangladesh cannot be spared. How can we not strike out the root cause of terror from our backyard?

Its time to lose our patience.

Is there anyone better out there?

Mil Gaya, Mamma Mia

You know when you go to the theatre and watch a movie and feel as if you are living it. You feel like singing and dancing along with the characters. Oh Boy, it had been sooooo long since I experienced that! It had been so many years since a Bollywood movie was made that well. This weekend my friends dragged me along for Kismet Konnection and I swear to God I had that weird feeling that this gonna be a special night. After watching the movie, I was so damn disappointed that I did not know whom to criticize. A middle aged trying to be babe Vidya Balan, a stereotypical love story made by director who is probably from the stone age or the hideous depiction of desi Toronto businessmen?
O Canada!
Now, whenever we watch a movie at this Montreal multiplex, theres always a second chance. Yes, no one actually checks whether you are popping off to the neighbouring screen for a second movie. So me and a couple of friends decided to take our chances with Mamma Mia. Kismet Konnection seemed to have had some direct connection with headaches, rest of my friends were down with that and decided that one try had been enough to ruin their Friday night. I probably had the courage of going for this movie coz I had been an ardent admirer of Meryl Streep and couldn’t wait to see her for the first time on the big screen. We went for Mamma Mia.
The movie started with a young girl mailing out invitations of her marriage, to her three possible fathers. The setting was picture perfect and I mean it, it was this heavenly island in Greece where the houses were old but ever so beautiful. And then came Meryl Streep and she brought the house down with her charm, frill and beauty. The Abba songs, those 70s dances and that spirit of having a blast, was just so perfect. It was like Hollywood was paying a tribute to Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, just that the jokes were closer to Sex and the City. However the fun had just started. The twists and turns in the story were so fascinating. There were so many funny and ticklish moments. Some sad and emotional too but just about the right amount. Just like you need the right amount of chilly and salt to make that perfect curry.
Truly, Meryl Streep is the original Dancing Queen………………………

Bollywood @ Jazz Festival

Reality Bites

Sometimes I am in that mood when I am lost. I am lost in my thoughts and wonder why I live. What do I wait to achieve? When I realize I will probably never get what I truly want, I dream. Dreams can sometime save a life. Dreams can bring that smile to your face which was never supposed to be there. We all are born for a purpose. I wish I knew what is my purpose in life. Why is it so difficult to be content. If I look through someone else's eye, I have so much in my life. If I look through my own, I have so little.
Today I realized the hardest job in my life could be to face reality. To stop living in denial and just be honest. The truth is so bitter that I may not even be able to confess it to my own self.

The Devil Codes JAVA

Last week I, along with a group of friends were accused of playing politics, bringing in groupism into an arena, which allegedly hadn’t seen it earlier. If this incident were to happen four years back, I would be terribly hurt and probably on a soul searching mission, asking myself where had I gone wrong. However, four year down the line, I realise that I have changed quite a bit as a person. Allegations of politics and dirty games don’t seem to hurt me anymore. I will be cheating myself if I were to take the credit completely myself. The credit for not being naive, the credit for understanding what putting up pretence is, credit for understanding the only one who matters in this big bad world is ‘Me’.
When I got my first job, I was so sure I would never do anything that is ethically wrong. I would never do anything that would hurt the commitments I had already made. I was too idealistic. It took just nine months of the corporate world to change me. The work atmosphere changed me to some extent but people changed me the most. It is usually assumed that your work is most affected by your superiors or your team. I have a different take on that. I think we get most affected by the people whom we spend the most time with, the people with whom we share our deepest secrets with, the people whom we trust the most.
The best way to become smarter is to be fooled. I don’t know how many times I have been fooled or been lied to in my life. However, the ones I have known have been more than enough for me to handle. The first one to rush to my mind is being lied to, over and over by friends (atleast they still claim to be) about their plans and relationships. Manyatimes I would get a feeling that I was being used by ‘friends’ to achieve their own motives. I have no idea how much politics exists in industries outside software but I can tell you that politics in software is not soft at all. The only thing soft is the outer persona of people.
I once thought of writing a book about my experiences at ‘Nihilent’. I never completed it. Probably as I never knew what the end would be. Perhaps I know now. I notice that people in the West are obsessed with the concept of the devil. Take my word, I have met the devil. He\She changed me in a way that I would never be the same again. I don’t think I can ever claim the moral high ground but I am sure that I will be very successful in the corporate world someday. That day I will go back to the devil and thank him\her for the lessons I have been taught by the actions taken by some people I had once trusted. I recently wrote to someone that she will have bad and good experiences in her life but please treasure every bit of both. As we learn and grow with every experience for our own good. If you read this and cannot control your curiosity to find the devil and are wondering ‘where in the world is the devil’, then all I can tell you is that the devil codes JAVA, go find him\her sitting in some big corporate office making his\her way upto the top.

China - the rich communist

China and Pakistan are two sides of the same coin. Fundamentalism rules roost in both countries. One is Right wing other is Left wing. Perhaps it is a cruel joke by the Almighty to place Pakistan on India's Right and China to India's Left!
The world seems to be waking up to the destructive dragon only now. Nancy Pelosi today said in Dharamshala, "Situation in Tibet is a challenge to conscience of the world". I say China is worse than Pakistan as it has the economic power, so the world seems reluctant to control its gross human rights violations. It is so true. Thats why the statement by the U.S. House Speaker is so apt.

China has to leave Tibet...I hope India co-operates with USA on this mission. India should have helped USA in combat operations in Afghanistan too but Pakistan didn't want it. As they knew Indian help in Afghanistan could mean the end of Taliban, Pakistan's closest ally.

Now, Pakistan is quiet about Tibet! Why are you Pakis quiet? When terrorists kill people in Kashmir you guys call them freedom fighters. However when protestors in China are ruthlessly beaten up and tortured, on camera that too, Pakistan prefers to hide in its bunkers.

TIBET should be an independent state and every Indian has an ethical duty to help their cause.

Poor Old Raj

“Raj”, Shahrukh Khan made this name extremely popular, when he starred in Aditya Chopra’s debut, “Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge”. Till date this movie is considered as a modern day classic and the pair of Raj and Simran has been engraved in hearts of many Bollywood fans, perhaps just like Laila-Majnu or Heer-Ranjha were in the previous century.
However the Raj that we know of today is “The Raj Thackrey”. The fundamentalist, divisive, almost terrorist leader who calls for the blood of Nort Indians. Whatever happened to the Hindutva and Hindu Rashtra agenda. Oh I am really sorry, the Hindutva agenda is patented by his uncle Bal Thackrey and his old ally Advani(old man desperate to be PM before he departs to God knows where). Take a moment and think about it, what is the difference between Raj and Osama Bin Laden. Osama asks the “Kafir”- non-believer Americans to leave the holy land and then rages a terrorist war against them. Well, he doesn’t exactly fight with them himself; he only uses those infamous video clips that appear on Al-Jazeera mysteriously, to “inspire” his followers. It’s much easier for Raj. He gives sound bytes. He doesn’t need to send mysterious messages to TV channels. They run after him to get his quotes. Infact they run after his men too, to shoot the visuals of them beating up an innocent man or breaking a poor man’s cab. So Raj can openly call for the blood of North Indians (most of them Hindus) and his men can keep pelting stones and killing innocent people.
Let me for a hellish moment assume that I agree with Raj. Lets say that we should start asking people from U.P., Bihar, etc to leave Maharashtra, where do we start? Shouldn’t we start at the very top? Oh yes, that’s why Raj first targeted Amitabh Bachchan. What a visionary! However, I urge Raj to start even above Amitabh. Surprised? Which North Indian in Mumbai is even above Amitabh? Shahrukh? Lets not get into the Shahrukh –Amitabh war now, we already have enough of them. Ambanis? The richest men in India and among the richest in the world? No, no, Ambani bhais are Gujratis, so what if they are not “originally” from Maharshtra, they are not North Indians. S.M. Krishna, Governor of Maharashtra ? Now lets leave Soniaji’s man out of this controversy, as we know if she really gets angry on Raj, we know whom we will be bidding farewell tomorrow! I was mentioning the other Krishna actually. Lord Krishna.
Raj, first throw out all the idols of Lord Krishna and Shri Ram from temples in Maharshtra! Yes, after all their birthplace is U.P as well. Why should Krishna and Ram be allowed to prosper in Maharshtra, when their “gaavwalahs” are not? Also, immerse all the Ganpati idols. Isn’t Ganeshji supposed to be living with his father Lord Shiva on the Kailash Parvat, somewhere in Uttaranchal. Once you can do that, then ask the common man to leave.
However poor old Raj can only ask weak humans to leave. He can only instigate some losers who have not achieved anything in life yet, like their leader. I am sorry, isn’t he doing all this in the first place to become a political leader. Does his party even have a MP? Not one MP? Isn’t that the real issue Raj? If not, then abandon Ram, Krishna and Ganpati, then I will believe in your cause.

In Pursuit of Happiness

As kids we all want freedom. Freedom to play, freedom to have fun, freedom to have all those things which we don't have. As we grow up we want to be better. We want better looks than our friends, better outfits, better lovers,etc. Finally, stepping out of teenage we look for better status. More money, better job, more rewards and thus better education. What we keep searching in all these pursuits is happiness. This nine letter word is the rarest commodity on earth. And I learnt it in one night.
Tonight I chatted radomly with five people, people whom I have known closely for a long time now. I chatted one on one, with all of them. One common sentiment among all of them was of unhappiness. Let me start with this friend of mine here in Canada, who has been frustrated for sometime now as his plans are not going the way he wants them to go. He had imagined his life in a certain manner couple of years back but now things seem to be rather different from that rosy picture he had in his mind. I have known him for a few years now and have never seen him unhappy or atleast understood it. Tonight I know and I do understand.
Next, is this really old friend of mine from engineering days. Tough guy, always has a go getter attitude. Always brags about his hot sex life and the girlfriends he has in all different parts of India. Today's chat started in a similar manner. However, as I digged little bit below the surface I unconvered the hidden sorrow behind the big talks. Although he had made love to innumerable women, he never fell in love with any one of them. The only woman he loved, never had the courage to love him.
This third one, I had been expecting for sometime now. A good friend of mine, got married to a rich banker, moved to US of A. A dream for many young Indian girls. To many it would sound like a fairytale. However, as the old saying goes, money does not buy happiness. With a social life close to zero, lack of friends and late work hours of hubby, my good friend is not feeling that good anymore. She is unhappy that her young years are passing away, sitting at home when she can acually do something great with it. Loneliness and an east coast winter is almost a perfect prescription for unhappiness.

Fourth up, is a really close friend of mine whom I have shared my most intimate feelings with. Today he told me that he still remembers 'Strangers at Last Sight' and thinks about how he can relate to it. How he still looks at lost oportunities and thngs that could be. In short the unhappiness bug had struck the southern hemisphere boy too.

Finally, the fifth one, was yours sincerely. My life is going just the way I planned. I am not unhappy on being lonely, I have tons of friends n Montreal, good social life. I am not tired of meeting random people, in fact I have hardly got that wild. However, I still am not happy. Is there anyone out there who truly is?
'Ek masoom dil hai aur sitam hai kitne. Is mohabbat ke siwa aur bhi gham hai kitne'

Dada’s Kirti

I have fallen to my temptation of lifting the title of a popular Bengali movie.
“Dada’s Kirti” translated in plain English would perhaps mean elder brother’s great doings. There Dada was a popular Bengali actor called Tapas Pal (Madhuri debuted opposite him), here however the Dada I refer to is well known all over India and to most in other cricketing nations too, especially Pakistan and Australia. Ganguly has been a nemesis, particularly for these two teams. Against Pakistan as a batsman, sometimes even as a bowler and against Australia, in many forms. Sometimes as a captain or as a batsman or sometimes by just being there. This current crop of Indian cricketers we see today, who are not afraid to give it back to the Aussies, are products of Dada’s school of thought. They are aggressive, bloating with pride and won’t take a word lying down. So whether it’s Harbhajan replying back to Symmonds or Shreesanth doing the dance on the pitch against South Africa, they all show us that they are proud to be Indians and are not any less than the cricketers from the so called developed world.
Just like Sachin’s presence in the team inspires youngsters to be more committed and perform better, Dada fills the youth up with passion. What happened in Sydney, probably wouldn’t have happened if Dada weren’t there. The BCCI was more than happy to sweep the issue under the carpet and go on with the series. It was a combination of the passion that a large group of the team had, to not just silently accept cheating by the Aussies and the match officials, along with the dramatic Indian media which forced the BCCI to take the tough stand. BCCI chief, Pawar, who has his eyes set at the ICC chief’s chair was in no mood to take risks by getting into a tangle with the ICC and Cricket Australia. Needlessly to say the nation’s pride was last thing on his mind. If it weren’t for the unified Indian team which refused to leave Sydney until the contentious issues were resolved, the BCCI would have never disturbed its inertia. I still remember the instant when in the second innings of the Sydney test, Michael Clarke took that controversial catch and Ricky Pointing declared Dada out, he refused to leave the crease until the umpire would say that its out. That was important, especially after a series of wrong decisions against the Indians, someone had to protest. I still feel that after this decision the Indians should have walked out like Inzy had once done, demanding that the match be scrapped. However alls well that ends well. The humiliation of Sydney filled the team with a feeling of revenge for justice and thus followed the victory at Perth.
The very next day, the one day squad is announced and Dada and Dravid are dropped! People are surprised, accuse Vengsarkar and Dhoni of partiality and what not. However the real culprit is none of them, least of all Dhoni. The man responsible for this game of politics is the political mastermind called Sharadchandra Govind Rao Pawar.
The seeds of this plant lie in Sydney. Dada’s ability to unite the team, seniors and juniors alike scared the Board chief. A unified team means less power for the manipulative BCCI officials. They knew that removing Dada would mean media reports about a divided team and internal bickering. BCCI are not alone in fearing an unified Team India. Cricket Australia fears it too. If Greg Chappell’s tenure is analyzed closely, it can be seen that Chappell always tried to divide Team India (with help of some BCCI officials) and thus brought India’s performance to an all time low. Whether Cricket Australia was behind this deep rooted conspiracy is anybody’s guess. After the 2003 World Cup and India’s stunningly successful tour to Australia, the only country which could have displaced Australia from its cricketing throne could have been India. This ofcourse did not happen, thanks to Greg Chappell and the likes of Bindra, Dungarpur and Modi (Lalit, not Narendra).
Cricket India is plagued by the problems that have plagued India for the past few centuries. Foreigners dividing the country, Indian politicians thinking only about themselves and regionalism taking a toll on the country as a whole. I wonder when we will eradicate evils like Pawar, Bindra and Modi. It is not just about these people being thrown out but also the evil that they represent needs to be eliminated.