Ecstacy

A day to remember! Finally it has come. I am very happy today and still a lot to go.

The Great Indian Divide - Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

KANK might bomb at the box office because of it's unconventional story and ending. However it has suceeded in starting a debate over moralities. Below is a very good example of that. This is a chat I had with my friend who hails from the Hindi heartland and has "traditional Indian values". The below text demonstrates the disparity of thoughts between India and Bharat.

Me: tumhara sametime thik ho gaya

My Friend: ya,it has been always rigth.

Me: hmm

Me: tum bhi kal gaye the KANK dekhne?

My Friend: yes

Me: pasand aayi?

My Friend: ok,but for me resuts are not acceptable.

Me: results? tumne koi exam bhi di thi kya!!

My Friend: mean movie should not be ended that way.

Me: then which way shud it hv ended?

My Friend: I do not know,but they should not present rani and and sharukas heros.

My Friend: see,two homes were destroyed,big b died still that kind ofending ,not acceptable.

Me: par yaar, agar woh bandi kisi aur se pyaar karti hai and even the guy loves her, whats the use of staying in such a relationship where both were not happy

Me: i totally agree that it wasnt convincing at all that why rani wudlove shahrukh and not abhisheik but i feel sometimes u just cant say what might attract someone

My Friend: do you think ,a man who had 5-year old son,prefer to go for aanother women,because his wife is more sucessful thn him ,right?

Me: thats true that the guy was jealous of his wife and that was onereason why he was unhappy but again even his wife didnt try to adjust withhim. even for her , her career came first and rightly so. But u know itactually happens that way manyatimes.....i agree shahrukh wasnt the herobut he could rather be called the protagonist

My Friend: and a women rani who killed her father by her shamefullbehavior,broke two home had right to go for another married man onlybecause abhishek wants the things,that she should do.

Me: ok....see i m sure even rani's character(maya) didnt want to kill BigB....u see sometimes we do somethings not realising what the consequencemight be...maybe our intentions are not bad, its just that we are notclever enough

My Friend: after marrage why rani was thinking of other man.she need to search her love in her husband it self,and here abhishek was a goodhusband.

Me: hmm...what you say is correct according to our indian values...andmay also be practical.....but practicality doesnt hold good in true lifesometimes

My Friend: true life???? the situation shown in movie is not justified.

Me: so what do you say abhisheik should have done with Rani?

My Friend: abhisheik need to send her in mental hospital.

Me: :) mental hospital? why?My Friend: she was crying without any reason .

Me: ya thst true, she cried a bit too much

Me: but wat about shahrukh, shouldn't he also be sent to mental hospitalthen?

My Friend: ya sharuk was also a bad man,and that is what I am telling you cannot present them as heros.

Me: so you think only bad people can love outside their marriages?

My Friend: tell me name of one person who wants to became like sharuk and rani.

Me: obviously no one would want to break their marriages, they didnt too

My Friend: so they are not the heros of this film.

My Friend: and they should suffer.

Me: but you see the point remains , what would you do if you are stuck with a bad marriage, continue with it only because it is traditionally wrong to break your marriage?

My Friend: ya,ofcourse you could break your marrage,but you should haveappropiate reason for them.

Me: and you feel the reason shown in this movie was not appropriate?

My Friend: ya

My Friend: that is why we do not want to follow them

Me: so if shahrukh had not falln in love with rani and divorced preitywould that be justified?

My Friend: do you think ,a men who had 5-year old son,prefer to go for aanother women,because his wife is more sucessful thn him ,is right?

Me: you are repeating your question:-)

My Friend: ok,

Me: you didn't answer my question

My Friend: ya

My Friend: answering

My Friend: again what is the reason for your divorse,is it sufficient toleave your family because your wife is earing more.

Me: it is not that simple, she was earning more, she didnt have time forthe family and they were not compatible.......all this lead to hisaffair....

My Friend: if shahruk was feeling shame in taking care of his son,ya heshould go for divorse.

Me: so your final verdict is that these two are bad people and should bethrown out of society for what they did?

My Friend: they are bad ,but no need to thrown out of society for whatthey did.but they should realished that they were wrong.

Me: you know...i feel they are not bad people, it is just that they madewrong choices in life

My Friend: not wrong choices,they do not have rigth to do so.

Me: who are we to detrmine what is right for someone else?

My Friend: your right ends,where other ones is started.

And the "discussion" goes on...

My First Book

Writing a book is one of the most creative activities that one can do. It provides an outlet for thoughts and ideas hidden in one’s mind. Since past couple of years I wanted to write a book. As a matter of fact, I did start writing it. Unfortunately due to lack of time I haven’t been able to complete it yet. I have named it “Changing Times”.
During my engineering studies the Indian economy wasn’t going great guns like it is today. Getting a job was tough; this created lot of uncertainty in my mind. After graduation I had to make a critical decision, whether to take a job at a call center or pursue higher studies in Advanced Computing. It was a tough one but I am glad I made the right decision. I opted to study further and landed up with a good job.
The experiences I had at my first job will remain with me for life. I was introduced to the corporate culture. This culture was new to me and there were many instances when I felt like a vulnerable novice. In many ways it has made me the person I am today. Although I learnt a lot technically, my book will be dedicated to what I learnt about people and their circumstances. Circumstances change and they change people along with them. This will be the underlying theme of my book. Manyatimes one may feel helpless at the turn of events and that is when you realize that it is better to change before time demands you to change.
Through this book I would like to share my experiences. Experiences of surprise, delusion, happiness, failure and success. The sinking feeling of betrayal and the exhilarating feeling of victory. The art to keep a secret and the art to get one out. The importance to have knowledge of happenings around and consequences of not knowing them. Experiences that taught me how to change time rather than changing along with it.

Chronicles of a Rainy Day

Whenever it rains, it makes me forget all my pain
Through ups and downs, no matter what, I rebound.
The butterflies rest and the flowers bloom,
so beautiful is nature that my heart sings to it's tune.

The drums of thunder, violin of a droplet
Soothes my soul and makes my heart scarlet
Rabindra sangeet it is for the day,
for there is no one better than Gurudev who described the rains.

Now that my heart is joyous and sadness nowhere near
it's time to worship my stomach without any fear
The smell of potatoes call me there
where there are bhajjiyas to be to be serverd with some care

The night brought darkness and birds have hid
the lights went off as they always did
Some pole must have fallen or a tree tumbled
man can't solve nature's eccentric puzzle

Flooded are the roads and some homes too
Why has nature brought fury and not love to do
The drums sound like war cries and violins give me pain
probably it's time for rain to go back to a dry terrain.

Somewhere out there, there is someone who needs you more
He cries for water, kills himself for your disdain
please help him with your tender drops,
whenever it rains, it will cease his pain.

Intuitions

Has it ever happened to you that you feel something and it happens! Well, for me it keeps happening. It is not necessarily a good thing.If one intutes about a bad experience and it happens, you will be scaredof thinking. Alliance Francaise has organised a party today. I bought the tickets last weekend itself. Even my friend was interested in coming, so I bought tickets for both of us. We had planned to go together. However, ever since the time the plan was made, I had this feeling thatthis won't work out. He will refuse at the last moment. I was so sureabout it that I shot a mail to him this morning, asking what time he would meet me.I was right, he had some deadline to meet and he couldn't make it.The frequency of my intuitions hitting bull's eye is amazing but that doesn't mean that I cherish the quality I have. It is believed that dreams can hold the key to our future. For instance, the belief goes that if you dream that someone in your family is getting married, there willbe a death in your family. I did not believe this when I first heard it. Was I right ? Not quite. My grandfather had been going through a phase of bad health for a long time. Almost a year. Suddenly one night I dreamt that my cousin was getting married. When I wokeup, the first think that I heard was that he passed away. I was shocked. I was stunned, I couldn't say a word. I got over this shock as time passed by. However this wouldn't be the last time that my intuitionwould scare me. Late in 2003, my aunt fell sick. After a few months my aunt and her family came down to Mumbai for her treatment. I took leave for a couple of days and went to Mumbai. I didn't sense much trouble the first few days. On my last day of leave, I booked bus tickets for Pune. Before leavingI went to meet my aunt in the hospital. I don't know what struck me but I walked out of that hospital room,staright into a phone booth, called up my colleague and told her that I wouldn't be returning to workfor the next 3 days. I did not take that bus. I slept that night, a bit apprehensive. I was woken up earlymorning, around 4am. There was a call from the hospital. My aunt had passed away. Manyatimes small incidents which happen, like taking a bus or a trip or even losing a match, I perceive them. Most people wouldn't believe me when I tell them, "I knew this would happen." Can't blame them. Science does not explain intuitions. Science doesn't explain God too. We don't stop believing in Him, do we? Although scared sometimes, I choose to trust my intuitions. somehow, somewhere inside us, we know what will happen the next moment, don't we?

Secrets

There are two issues here:
Why do we need to keep secrets from others?Why can't others, especially your trusted friends keep secrets to themselves?
The former is an open question subject to change from person to person.However the latter is one whose results show amazing consistency. The consistency with which most of my friends have failed me. From the good ones to the best.When a person whom I don't know that well or I don't rely on too much spills the beans, I don't feel so bad. However, when it comes to my close friends, that really hurts. I can often not forgive them for years, call it weakness or a grudge. I do like keeping somethings restricted to a very small circle of people.
Initially I was very biased against the weaker sex. Although one of my closest and most trusted confidant is a lady, who has never failed me till date, I always generalised that women have a loose tongue.I was WRONG!!! Believe me, we are as bad as the women. When it comes to gossip, men have equal if not more achievements than women.
I may still forget the wound of betrayal if people accept their mistakes with a straight face.But there are some who will apologise and still say "I had no idea you wanted me to keep this to myself,but if I have hurt you, I am sorry" This is really iirritating, what in Hindi is called "Ek to chori uske upar seena zori". And then there are some innocent ones who say "I didn't mean to say it that way, it's just that he/she understood it that way".Wow, these people should start teaching telepathy. Did you guys get a degree in reading between the lines?
Fed up of betrayals I keep telling myself, trust no one but you. I wish I could follow what my mind says.

Heart will find a way...

Oh my mind, where are you going, for what are you going?
What remains unfound yet, that you seek.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


You keep wandering like a deer in a thick forest.
When will you find that river which will quench your thirst.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


In the journey of life, comes the stop of love.
The heart says this is that river.
But mind wouldn't listen.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


There will come a time when my mind you will say,
I told you not to listen to the heart.
But try and understand, it is better to regret ,
what one has done than to regret what one hasn't done.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


Oh my mind tell me, what the heart says to you.
Don't hide it from yourself, just do it!

Gift of the gab for the cab

I have been thinking about doing a MBA for quite sometime now. All brochures for MBAs would normally have the same line about how they would create a world class manager out of you. However this was something I never understood. Is it possible to make a world class manager out of someone who doesn't want to open up to people or someone who doesn't have the gift of the gab. Since long I had always doubted myself, on how effective I would be if I were to manage a team. However all my inhibitions thrashed by one experience. I am a rash driver. Believe me that's an understatement. I have banged my Alto(no pun intended) half a dozen times in past 18 months. Although the Pune roads and public have to take some part of the blame, I can't escape from the fact that I am a hopeless driver. After banging my car the last time in April, I decided that this was enough and I am no longer driving my car on a regular basis. So I started going to office by rickshaw. Manyatimes I would walk down from office. After all I loved walking and 9 kms wasn't much for me. The walk down through the army camp was lovely in the evenings, only till the rains came. The rains threw me offtrack. I had to look for other options. I decided to start a cab service from Wanawadi to Kalyani Nagar. I did find a good number of people interested for this route but just interested. It wasn't as easy as I thought. People committing and then backtracking, everyone has their own issues and ofcourse the timings had to be settled. I had to counsel each person individually to solve their problems. Also sometimes had to make the difficult decision to say "no" to people. The toughest part for me was to create a feeling of trust in people who didn't know me at all. Rather I had to make myself believe that these people will trust me. In short, I had to make full use of my gift of the gab which I felt I never had. I am human, I make mistakes in judgment!
Managing all this for 3 weeks was some task but when we finally started the van I felt I had accomplished something. My first task as a manager was done. Now I will have to see to it that this cab keeps running smoothly and we move on to a better option. A smooth transition. Doesn't this sound so familiar. Well, this experience has helped me get over my complex, so are you thinking of starting a cab!

Change will never change

There are so many pieces which are scattered around, here and there. I need to pick them up and fix it.
The moment I fix one, the other breaks. If life were a furniture, I would go and buy a new one.
But we can't get a new life, can we! Our past never seems to stop following us. Mistakes of the past keep
hounding one like hungry wolves. Well, maybe not that bad, maybe I am just exggerating it but life sucks.
Sometimes in life one feels that there is no destination. It is aimless. Just imagine sitting in a bus and not knowing where
you have to get down. The anxiety, the impatience and the fear. Thats exactly how you feel when you don't know
where your life is taking you. So do you have a destination?
This is exactly what I asked myself a few months back. I decided to introspect and decided what I wanted to do
in life. However once I did decide and got down to doing it, I am confused once again. Do I really want to do this
or is it just a big mistake. Desire stems from dissatisfaction of your present situation. If one were happy and satisfied
with what he/she had then he/she wouldn't look for more or a change. However Change is constant. Change is that law of
nature which has never changed. So before your life changes without your permission, go ahead and change it yourself.
Easier said than done. Try changing your life. Try taking a major step in life. Try doing something you alsways wanted to do
but never did because it wasn't a norm to do it. The hurdles start, your family,society,relatives,neighbours,colleagues.
Not one person will leave the chance to question you or ridicule your ideas. The ones who support you will either be your friends
or the ones who see some benefits for themselves in your step. However these hurdles won't pose a big problem if you have faith in
yourself. Yes, only if you have faith in yourself, that is not the easy part by far.Faith in God is easy. Then why is it so difficult to have faith in yourself.
Whatever the philosophy of life might be, the fact is that my life is still a mess and I am feeling too lazy to arrange it.
So let time do it for me.