Spring of new hope

I looked out of my window today and saw there were tiny green leaves on the tree. They looked happy to be born once again. They looked happy that the cold has gone and days are getting warmer. A truly bright saturday morning.
With the augment of the spring heat, I have tried fixing some things which were not right in my life. Although I have to mention here that this wouldn't have been possible without the help of a few friends. I have always believed that I have been very lucky to find true friends in every stage of my life. The true test of friendship is when in times of need your friend is there for you. Last week I was supposed to shift to my new place and I had no idea how I could do it alone. There was so much stuff to move that I had sleepless nights thinking of shifting all that stuff. However with the help of 3 of my friends, SB,TH and JL this task was simplified.
I love my new place, it's much bigger and cleaner than the earlier place. However it can look a bit spooky at night. Also, I am happy that I have a cheerful and positive roomie, that helps keep the mood up at all times. Academics is looking up too and there seems to be rays of hope on other fronts too. Overall, summer of 2007 is approaching with lots of promise, lets hope it delivers.

To All my friends in Montreal

I have been told that lately my writing has been a lot of depressing stuff. So to lift my own spirits and yours, my dear friends, lets raise a toast to hope.


ho agar koi ghum toh, bilkul na tum ghabaraana
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......
bass rahe yakin yeh tumko, khushiyo ko toh hai aana
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......
raat hai toh sabera bhi hoga
hai safar toh basera bhi hoga
ghum ke aage muskuraake gaaye hum
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......

zindagi mein koi bhi kami ho
palko pe jo jara bhi nami ho
aansu na bahaana tum, dukh na uthaana tum
haar na jaana duniya se
darana kabhi na tum, rehana kabhi na tum gumsum
hasake bataana duniya se
aayenge phirse din khushiyo ke, badalega yeh mausam
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......

koi aandhi jo aaye toh aaye
dil mein hai jo diya bujh na paaye
kaali kaali raate ho, chaahe jaisi baate ho
humko hai chalate rehana
jo bhi aaye mushkil, dare nahi kabhi dil
apana toh hai yeh kehana
lamhebharko chaayi ghata toh, dhoop na ??
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......
ho agar koi ghum toh, bilkul na tum ghabaraana
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......
bass rahe yakin yeh tumko, khushiyo ko toh hai aana
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......
raat hai toh sabera bhi hoga
hai safar toh basera bhi hoga
ghum ke aage muskuraake gaaye hum
taa raa raa raa rum taaraarumpum.......

Lets Give them Something to Talk About!

People are talking, talking 'bout people
I hear them whisper, you won't believe it
They think we're lovers kept under cover
I just ignore it, but they keep saying
We laugh just a little too loud
We stand just a little too close
We stare just a little too long
Maybe they're seeing something we don't, darlin'


Let's give them something to talk about
Let's give them something to talk about
Let's give them something to talk about
How about lo-o-ove



I feel so foolish, I never noticed
You'd act so nervous, could you be falling for me
It took a rumour to make me wonder
Now I'm convinced I'm going under
Thinking about you every day
Dreaming about you every night
I'm hoping that you feel the same way
Now that we know it, let's really show it, darlin'

Let's give them something to talk about
A little mystery to figure out
Let's give them something to talk about
How about love, love, love, love

Flashback.....winter 2001, location: a typical college and a typical college crowd

People love to talk. We love to talk about the time when we are not there. We love to wonder what was happening in our absence. We love talking about couples who hang out just too long with eachother.
Who doesn't love to gossip! They talk about how they saw them having dinner at the restaurant the other night, how they caught them at the cafe, how they jog every evening, how they never stop meeting for study sessions at his or her room.
Many times, after a few weeks you come to know, that the couple are actually dating eachother. So do the gossip mongers stand vindicated? Take Abhi and Ash for instance. They denied it, they avoided the media, today they got married.

Now lets not reach to conclusions here. It is important to know what happened between the time that rumours started and couple actually came out to all their "friends". What were the couple feeling? Sometimes we have to be told by others that we have fallen in love. That is when some foolish people(like me) realize that there is something special here. And then, you have a lot to talk about. But what about those couples who never come out and the gossip mongers are left wondering, what was going on behind those closed doors.

Maybe there was never anything actually going on or maybe some secrets are best kept secrets forever ;)

PS: In my earlier post I had mentioned that my self perception of being a good student is shaterring to pieces. I stand corrected, I received final results of my 1st MBA course(Organiztional Behaviour), I am combined topper of my class.

Lakdi ki kaathi

lakadi ki kaathi kaathi pe ghoda
ghode ki dum pe jo maara hathauda
dauda dauda dauda ghoda dum utha ke dauda

ghoda pahuncha chauk mein chauk mein tha naai
ghodeji ki naai ne hazaamat jo banaai
chag-bag chag-bag chag-bag chag-bag
ghoda pahuncha chauk ...
dauda dauda dauda ghoda dum utha ke dauda

ghoda tha ghamandi pahuncha sabji mandi
sabji mandi baraf padi thi baraf mein lag gai thandi
chag-bag chag-bag chag-bag chag-bag
ghoda tha ghamandi ...
dauda dauda dauda ghoda dum utha ke dauda

ghoda apana tagada hai dekho kitani charabi hai
chalata hai maharauli mein par ghoda apana arabi hai
chag-bag chag-bag chag-bag chag-bag
ghoda apana tagada hai ...
baanh chhooda ke dauda ghoda dum utha ke dauda

lakadi ki ...

Abyss

I have reached the abyss. I don't know where to go from here. My finances are in ruins. I have no job to support myself. My exams are fast approaching and it seems increasingly tough to maintain a good GPA. My notions of being an intelligent student are being crushed mercilessly. To top this I am considering moving out of my apartment by the end of this month. I haven't found a place to go to yet. I just can't stand the tension in my apartment anymore. And ofcourse the constant factor since arrival in Montreal has been that I have had no love life. This is the worst state I have ever been in.
I have never regreted any decision in my whole life. None. However I am now regretting coming here for MBA. I hate this place. The worst part is that after investing so much I can't even go back.
So what do I do now. Well, I still keep trying to make it better. I am hoping there is light at the end of the dark tunnel. And I hope that light is not of a Canadian Rail train.

Oh yes, before I sign off, something for the politics at Concordia student unioins.

Kitne ajeeb rishtey hai yaha pe
Do pal miltey hai, saath saath chalte hain
Jab mod aaye to bach ke nikalte hain
Kitne ajeeb rishtey hai yaha pe

Thokar bhi khaana hai, chalte bhi jaana hai
Vaada kiya toh woh kisko nibhaana hai!
Yaha sabko saare daav aazmane hai
Sabhi ek duje se zyaada sayaane hai

Kitne ajeeb rishtey hai yaha pe

Remembering Anupama

Back in the 60s, a classic movie was made,"Anupama"
It was about a girl who was extremely shy, an extreme case of being an introvert. Ofcourse there were reasons shown in the movie which led her to be an introvert. Raised by her father and a maid. Never had any friends since childhood, was too scared to face her father. Her father always felt she was the reason for her mother's death. That created a sense of aloofness in her, making her quite and calm like a fishless pond.
I have almost never met anyone who is that extremely introverted. However no matter how open, extroverted and audible we claim to be, all of us have an Anupama hidden in us. All of us hide a person inside us, who is afraid to come out. I am amazed to see how people seem to eveolve with the passage of time. Actually people don't evolve. There are just some facets of our personality which tend to guard in first meetings. Slowly that guard is let down. However, there is some part of us which always hidden from the outside world, even from the people closest to us. In some instances we ourselves don't realise who we are and what we are capable of being.
As a kid, I was very shy. I never talked much in school. Some of my present day freinds might find it very hard to believe that.It has a been a long journey from being a shy boy in school to doing an international MBA in Canada. However, I still think I am reserved and talk less. Ok, now don't grin ;)

Karma

"I have always been a firm believer in the karma theory. Your Karma shall follow you. Thou shall reap what thou sow."

I wrote this on 31st October,2006. It has come true.

http://abhijeetnandy.blogspot.com/2006/10/grinch-whole-stole-victory-from-indian.html

India's ,miserable loss at the World Cup is a result of all the wrong things that happened in Indian cricket in the last eighteen months.
Chappell and Dravid took over reins of the team from Ganguly by spreading lies and by playing politics. However they failed to realize that by killing the strength of our team they could never make it successful. I can understand the selfish deeds of Chappel. He is an Australian, probably here only for the money. Why would he have any love for India or it's cricket. But what had gone wrong with Dravid? Why did he assist Chappell in all the evil deeds? Is power so corrupting?
Power has spoilt many good men. Dravid is not only the latest but a prominent example of this. Worse,power made him insecure. It was this insecrity of this that created an uneasy atmosphere in the team. He failed to realize the basic rule of cricket, it's a team game, you can't do it alone.

Decades back, Tagore wrote a song describing the oppressions of the British government and said that:
bidhir badhon katbe tumi emon soktiman tumi ki emni soktiman
amader bhanga gora tomar haatE emon obhiman tomader emni obhimaan
bidhir badhon katbe tumi emon soktiman tumi ki emni soktiman............

You will change the course of destiny, you are so strong
You will change the course of destiny, are you so strong?
Our creation and destruction is in your hands,
you have such arrogance, such is your arrogance

Always you will keep us down?
Always you will pull us back?
You don't have such power yet, you can not pull this off

You will change the course of destiny, you are so strong
You will change the course of destiny, are you so strong?

No matter how powerful the ruler is,
the oppressed still has power
No matter how big you become,
there is GOD!
By killing our strength, even you won't survive
Once your burden gets too heavy,
your boat will sink

You will change the course of destiny, you are so strong
You will change the course of destiny, are you so strong?
Our creation and destruction is in your hands,
you have such arrogance, such is your arrogance

The Indian boat has sunk, thank our captain for it.

Moon's smile has broken all dams

This song of mine will wind its music around you,
my child, like the fond arms of love.
The song of mine will touch your forehead
like a kiss of blessing.
When you are alone it will sit by your side and
whisper in your ear, when you are in the crowd
it will fence you about with aloofness.
My song will be like a pair of wings to your dreams;
it will transport your heart to the verge of the unknown.
It will be like the faithful star overhead
when dark night is over your road.
My song will sit in the pupils of your eyes,
and will carry your sight into the heart of things.
And when my voice is silenced in death,
my song will speak in your living heart.

This evening I decided to do what I like to do and not what I have to do. As it gets warmer in Montreal, I decided it's time for some pleasure. I went to the computer and sat for hours listening to Rabindra Sangeet.

আলো আমার আলো ওগো, আলো ভূবন ভরা
আলো নয়ন ধোওয়া আমার আলো হৃদয় হরা ।
নাচে আলো নাচে ও ভাই, আমার প্রাণের কাছে -
বাজে আলো বাজে ও ভাই, হৃদয়বীণার মাঝে
জাগে আকাশ, ছোটে বাতাস, হাসে সকল ধরা ।
আলোর স্রোতে পাল তুলেছে হাজার প্রজাপতি
আলোর ঢেউয়ে উঠল মেতে মল্লিকা মালতী ।
মেঘে মেঘে সোনা, ও ভাই যায়না মানিক গোনা -
পাতায় পাতায় হাসি ও ভাই, পুলক রাশি রাশি ।
সুরনদীর কূল ডুবেছে সুধা-নিঝর-ঝরা।
- অচলায়তন

I don't know what it was, maybe the rains. It drizzled this evening. Somehow I always get pulled towards Rabindra Sangeet whenever I see the rains. Maybe it's the soothing effect. The soothing effect that rain has on dry earth, same effect does Rabindra Sangeet have on my soul. Remember that frangrance of wet soil after first rains? Thats what I feel when I listen to the maestro's songs.



Bhalobashi Bhalobashi
Ai shure kache doore
Jole sthole bajai baashi
Bhalobashi Bhalobashi

Murder He wrote...

Was Bob killed? This seems to have become the biggest question in cricket today. Ironically, no one seems to be concerned with the original question, who will win the world cup!
This case seems to be straight out of a Agatha Christie novel. Initially declared as a natural death, then traces of poison are found. A scheduled press conference by the high and mighty ICC officials is cancelled. Then, there are reports that he was strangled. And now, reports surface that Scotland Yard will investigate the case. Sherlock Holmes in Jamaica!
Bob, even after dying has remained in the news, much like he used to during his lifetime, especially as the coach of South Africa and then Pakistan. If he has really been murdered, then it's unfortunate. The killer entered the wrong team's hotel, to murder the wrong coach.
This World Cup will go down in history as one of the most popular ones for all the wrong reasons. And believe me, u ain't seen anything yet! Theres a lot more to come!!!

Life is Tough

I never thought life as a student again would be so tough. It is not about adapting to the study format in Canada. It's purely about cash. Getting a job to survive here is such a Herculean task. Purely on this experience I would never advise any international student to come here for any form of studies. The government rules are a two edged sword for students. Firstly, they wouldn't allow you work off campus for the first six months and then no one on campus is willing to employ a new student. Past experience and credentials are plainly ignored.
It seems not only is student life tough, life after is worse. I recently met an ex student from my MBA program, who is returning back to India.
Reason: No one was willing to consider him for a position, even with about 4 years of experience in companies like Suzuki and Honda.
As I write, I listen to "Jene Shune aami beesh korechi paan". Literal translation is, "Willingly I have drank poison". I ask myself the same question tonight.

Results of my DNA test

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Mambo Italiano!

Saying that I was shocked this time on my birthday would be an understatement. I was not only shocked by my new set of friends,in Montreal but I also managed to shock myself. Usually, back home I would expect my friends to turn up at my place at 12am. However it was least expected here. I had no clue these guys n gals would pull this off on me. So it was a real surprise and a good one at that.
Surprises didn't end here. I was expecting a hectic day, what with two classes and work to finish for two presentations due next week. I finish attending a draining session by a marketing guru in the first half of my Marketing class. It's break time, just trying to get my nerves settled as I know I will get my marketing mid term marks after about an hour. I hear someone calling out,"Ramie". I turn expecting to see my Marketing team member,a french girl,here as an exchange student. It is her. But wait! She has a donut in her hand, with a candle,lit up. The girls start singing "Happy Birthday" and boy am I taken aback. Amazing gesture from someone who has known only for a couple of weeks. I didn't even know how to thank her!
Everyone kept asking me what I did on the night of March 8th. All I can say is I had hot Italian dinner. Italians make them delicious, don't they ;)

Spring is here!

This weekend it snowed a lot in Montreal. However it was the same snow that helped me enjoy the spring festivals of Holi. Throwing snowballs on the streets of Montreal at midnight, on two consecutive nights! Am I having a ball or wat?
I think the turning point was my trip to Toronto. It liberated me. Liberated me of all the feelings of guilt and helplessness. March in Montreal seems lovely now. So bring out the wine, I am here to party!

This life is a strange story...

"There are no permanent friends or enemies in life"
Who said that? Well, I just did

I say it from personal experience. I am not angry with life, I am just suprised. I never thought, for being happy I will have to take care of my pains. For smiling, I never thought I will have repay the debts for smiling. I once read somewhere that every friendship has a common motive behind it. It's either work,money or an effort to run away from lonliness. I never believed it. I always thought of friendship as a pure relation, where we choose whom to spend time with. However,manyatimes life leaves you with very few choices. Life has taught me it's true, the hard way. Come to think of it, I am happy that I did learn it.
It is true that frienships do have a common motive and once that's over friends just turn into memories. I also know that there are no permanent enemies. Only your very close friend can be your worst enemy. Because your closest friend will know your weaknesses the best. Do I feel like writing "Strangers at last sight" again? Not yet. Not this time.

Still Confused!

Timing can be the key factor in life. I still keep wondering what life would have been, how life would have been if I had said certain things to certain people when I felt I should.
The first memory that comes flashing to my mind is when I gave her a treat for getting my first job. She was my closest friend. Sadly thats what she still is. I still wonder, sitting in freezing Montreal, should I have proposed her that night. We sat for candlenight dinner at RiverView.
It was the perfect setting. But I didn't say anything to her. Maybe I was afraid of being turned down. Maybe because I didn't want to hurt her. It broke my heart when she said that she thought I was going to propose to her that night. However the moment had passed and I had lost an opportunity.
I am still confused whether I did the right thing the wrong way!

Jaane Kya Chahe Mann Bawra

Do you know how sometimes you are sitting in a coffee shop and you hear a song and the song brings back some memories. Some memories that are sweet, sometimes bitter, sometimes fond and manyatimes they make your heart too heavy for your chest to hold back.
I can go back in time when I hear some songs. Some songs take me back to my schooldays in Bombay. Some remind me of my friends in Wadias. And a couple take me back to the place, where i was most peaceful. An open door, a big roof and wind blowing leaves of a long tree, like pine. "Countryroads take me home"......why can't we turn back time.
My latest favourite is "Jaane kya Chahe Mann" from a movie called "Pyaar ke Side effects". Simply because it reminds of my last few days in Poona, spent with some special people.
I have been in Montreal for just over two weeks now, I am sure I will also remember this period with some song. Right now I don't know which one, maybe in the future I will.
And there are those songs which remind of some people rather than some specific time. Like there is "Kuch to hua hai" from Kal Ho Naa Ho. Whenever I hear it, theres just one face in front of my eyes and its not Preity. And theres mon favourite French song "Tout les Garcons". That brings back some French memories. As strange as it may sound, it reminds me of a French in Poona not Montreal.
Jaane kya chahe mann bawra,akhiyan mere sawan chala............

Aim

We take birth in a country, in a city, in a family. We get a religion. We get a race. How is it decided where will we be born? Karma? Maybe. Then we grow up, some go to school,few to college. Manyatimes not knowing what they actually want to be in life. Then try to find a job. In which field, don't know. Maybe the one which offers more money. Start working. Enjoy the money initially. However with passage of time you may realise that you aren't happy anymore.
The mundane work makes you feel like a robot. What do we work for, one will ask oneself. Maybe it's time to switch. Or maybe it's time to change or your profession.
We keep looking for change so that life becomes better. When it does get better we feel we still lack something. Why are we never satisfied? Do we even know what we look for?
As a kid I always thought age brings maturity and emotional stability. But I was wrong. With age we tend to think more about our future. This makes the mind unstable. With age relations become older, making you feel more attached to people. Thus making you emotionally weak.
Strength is achieved by being content. Content with life. You can be content if you have an aim in life. However the most difficult thing in life can be knowing your real aim.

Sudden Death

If ever I thought that I was feeling sad while writing a post, it couldn't be more than tonight. After reaching here in Montreal, not only have I felt as if I have a new life but also that I had a sudden death. Seperated from my parents,family and friends, in a different world. Feels like death. Well I never thought I would experience death in this lifetime.
Although I was having a good time on new years eve, surrounded by new people, the moment I got alone the feeling of loss sucked me in again. Loss on an entire life of 25 years. I still ask myself, will it be worth it? Am I not losing out on precious time with my family. I don't know if things will ever be the same again. I have seen the cruel face of time and that is what scares me for the future.

Montreal

Montreal welcomed me with snow. As soon as my flight landed it started snowing. What does that signify? I don't know! I am too bothered to think of metaphors right now. The last 2 days have been full of nostalgia and self doubt. Did I make the right decision? Was it worth leaving my cozy life in Pune? Lets see, I will know soon.
The city is beautiful and I loved the walk down St. Catherine. Hoping to make interesting freinds here. Happy new year to Everyone, I hope mine is very happy and...

End of an Era

It does feel like end of an era. An era has ended in my life, the era of HSBC. Peut etre, era of Indian software companies. Today was my last day at HSBC. I feel sad. Take back really happy meories, of the events, the people, the experience. My first onsite trip, London, Canary wharf, a dream office. Then the fun I had with the team back in India.
Yesterday while returning from office, as I sat on the pillion seat, passing by GLT 1.0, thoughts came rushing to my mind. I suddenly realised it would be my last day tomorrow. I could remember the winter evenings of last year, me sharing a joke with a colleague, on the Level 5 terrace. The scene was beautiful, it was twilight and the Yerwada bridge was twinkling, courtesy, the traffic on it.
I remember when I left Nihilent, a good friend of mine asked me if I was feeling a little sad. I said no and I wasn't lying. Leaving Nihilent excited me! However now I understand what she was talking about. I will certainly miss HSBC.
Maybe the feeling is more because I got a splendid farewell. Not only did my team gift me a huge card and parker pens(yeah mon fav. brand) but so did the reporting team. I just didn't know how to thank them!
Bye Bye Kalyani Nagar, GLT, HSBC...I won't write a comment saying
"HSBC AN 16/12/2006:Added for Defect#20006" anymore!

Au Revoir...