The Casting City

Its strange to be back in Pune. It brings back so many memories, so many experiences. When I first cam to Pune I was like wet clay. I was moulded, remoulded and decorated with passage of time. Some moulders tried their best to make a hollow but beautiful exterior. However, there is some substance still left in it. The clay has got harder with time. Nails can't leave their scratches on the surface that easily anymore. However the mould has become brittle while becoming harder. Its becoming harder to change the shape. Imperfections are harder to remove. Maybe its the imperfections that make it that much more beautiful.

I wonder what life would have been if I had not moved to this city at 15. Maybe discovering myself would have taken another route. Maybe I would have got moulded a bit differently.

Life in Trance

I am going to India next week and I will be back after a month. However I am not quite sure for how long. In our MBA class we knew last Fall that the U.S. is heading into a recession. By spring 2008, we knew they are in recession, no matter what Wall Street or Capitol Hill said. The writing was on the Wall (pun intended). However, the magnitude of the problem was not apparent. We knew its a recession and there will be job losses but the worst crisis since the Great Depression was not anticipated.
I had planned this October 2008 trip to India as long back as September 2007. However, I never imagined these would be the conditions in which I will be making the trip. I had a scenario in mind that I might not have a job and I will make this trip but the situation is much more complicated now. The temptation to go back to India was always strong since the Indian economy was booming. Hence finding good jobs in India was always an alternative. Now the boom isn't that apparent. Ironically, the temptation has only become stronger. Why? Wall Street fiasco, uncertain future of North America, new contacts in Mumbai - family and friends who were not on the scene till late 2007 and no fascination to stay back here...all have worked as a team.
So this trip might be the most important trip I ever took. Somehow I feel my life is in a trance, I am in between sleep and consciousness, the controls are not really in my hands, no matter what I do, outcome might be decided by someone else.

Dream Crasher

When I had first joined the MBA program, I was aksed by our career management services to take a career test. The career test had a section where I had to fill my top five dream companies. I filled:

1. Lehman Brothers
2. Merrill Lynch
3. Goldman Sachs
4. Morgan Stanley
5. I dont even remember now, it was just to fill up the last spot

All my dream companies have either crashed, been acquired or will never be the same again. The last week has crashed the main reasons for which I joined the MBA program - to be an investment banker with one of these investment banks. Till a couple weeks back, a million guys would kill to have that job. Now, a million guys are being fired from their jobs. What tricks time plays! Some people don't believe in destiny, perhaps last week's crash might make them rethink. Change is inevitable, my dreams have to turn a new leaf, better late than never.

Bad Timing

For a batsman (cricketer), timing is very important. If you can hit the ball at the right moment then you don't need all your power to hit the ball out of the park. This rule works for tennis too. This rule also works for careers. Now, take my case for instance. Graduating from MBA (in Finance)at a time when the biggest banks on Wall Street are falling like a pack of cards. America and possibly the world is facing its worst economic crisis in decades. If I had graduated in a boom period (like I did after my engineering), I wouldn't have to use even half of my power or energy to search for an elusive job.

So what can we do to prevent bad timing. Nothing much, its not hard to predict when the market will plunge into recession. Well, I say that because if you note recession and boom periods in last two decades we can observe that they come after every 5 to 6 year periods. However, what is harder to predict is which sector will be the worst affected. Late last century it was the IT industry and now it is the financial sector.

Now let me become an astrologer and predict when will the boom period be back. I say, it will be 2011-2012 and that would last till 2016. Which sector will be next to crash? I think the media industry. Ask me the reason and I will tell you I don't know why!

Of struggle and more

Its been over two weeks now that I am living in Toronto. But Canada's biggest city doesn't even have the smallest of jobs for me. Its just amazing that how I apply to so many places and just get no replies back. Its almost as if those emails go into a black hole. A black hole of HR or a recruitment firm. Now, I have a friend who works for one such recruitment firm and he offers me advice almost in sympathy, I feel sometimes. He would tell me, dude you can get a job within a month, max! Now after two weeks its changed to, its time that you start making those cold calls or go to the office and meet the recruiter. Almost sounds as if he says, Ghar pe baithe baithe job nahi milta. Oooof. My frustration is dripping through this blog.

But you tell me, is it that easy to pick the phone and call any office and say, I need a job. I mean, many people tell me thats the way to go but I just can't get myself to do it. It just seems absurd. Almost like telemarketing, except that I will be selling myself here. Going and just dropping into an office is even worse. Its like the height of desperation. And the worst part is that I made a promise to myself to go to India in October. Now, I stare at a prospect of returning to India without a job and I can't even start saying how messed up that will make my vaccation. A vaccation across seven seas when the credit is just pilling up, two years back I would have never guessed that this would be me. So on this Friday night of frustration and despair, I hope I somehow find the courage to pick up the phone and start taking that next step which may, just may help me find that elusive job. Or else the struggler will have to go back home, not for good though.

Yeh hai Mumbai meri Jaan

I have had an unbelievable couple of weeks. I still don't have a job and am paying a crazy amount to rent out a den in Toronto. However, that was expected and is quite believable. Whats unbelievable are the movies I have been watching. Hindi movies have never been so good, so consistently. Is it me whos missing Mumbai or are the movies really good?

I loved Bachna Ae Haseeno, then came Rock On which truly ROCKED! Then I watched A Wednesday. Coincidentally it was on a Wednesady midnight(not planned at all), amazing, just too good! I don't remember the last time I saw a good movie about a issue which I feel so strongly about. Today I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan and once again it did not dissapoint me. Once again, it touched a few issues I feel very strongly about. Here I have to mention, other than the terrorism and communal tension issues, the aspect which this movie potrayed very well was the issue of media tamasha in India today. I still remember how I would always taunt my sister and mom for watching those dramatic news programs on Star News. It was about time someone told these so called journalist that something has gone terribly wrong!
This year I have seen some real high quality work from Bollywood. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na was excellent and so were the ones I mentioned above. Let me say here that I still haven't seen Aamir which is again supposed to be top class. Mumbai film industry seems to be having a good year. On the other hand the city is having a tense year. What with Raj T, poisoning minds of people at every opportunity he gets. I hope all this politics dies down very soon and we can once again see the true spirit of brotherhood in Mumbai. I was born twenty seven years ago in that city. I have learnt to live and let live in that city. The city has taught me how to love and how hate creates only hate. The city has taught me why we should enjoy life and why we should live every moment, without wasting time. The city has taught me to be ambitious and be professional every moment and then get personal with a complete stranger.

Mumbai, I miss you tonight.

Love, Sex & Guilt

In the last fortnight I have seen Bachna Ae Haseeno atleast six times. When I first saw this movie in the theatre I didn't think I would end up watching it so many times, over and over again. Ofcourse, the redundant viewings were online.

I am still trying to figure out what I love about this movie. Probably the fact the character grows up in a similar time era that I have, probably the fact that it is a light romantic comedy after a long time, probably I just love seeing movies filled with 'khunas'(As Bips put it) and guilt. I often wonder why do I feel the guilt after perfectly sane sex, while other times, feel no guilt after doing the most blasphemous of sex. Beats me! I go back and think I might have hurt people through this journey of life but who hasn't? I have been hurt so many times. Life is too short to have regrets, guilt and retain Khunas. But its hard to let go sometimes, forgiveness is much harder than hating someone!

Toronto Woes

After a sunny few days in California,I imagined that moving in to Toronto will be easy. Whom was I kidding? Rents are sky rocketing. Even with these rents, theres nothing decent to take out there. Job applications seem to always have a standard rejection reply. To be honest its just been a day and I need to show more patience here. However I dont have time! I have 4 days(including today) to get an apartment for myself. One where I could happily stay for the next 8 months. And I have 36 days to get a job, before I fly off to India for Durga Puja.
Whatever little life I have seen, I know that patience pays off. So I am trying to be very selective in the place I rent out and I am gonna hold out till the end. I think I am gonna let this one go down to the wire. I got a good apartment in Montreal last spring, maybe that was just luck. I want a good one here too!

Golden Day for India

Its a proud day for India as Abhinav Bindra won the first ever individual gold for India. I am so proud and sooo thrilled!!!

Ae mere huzoor e ala

Is dil ne phir wohi duaa ki...phir wohi khushi ki tamanaaa ki.
Saat samundaron ke faasley chote lagne lage...dilon ke kaafi lambe....
Aaj ka din tere liye khusiyaan laayen, tujhe meri duaaeen,
Zubaan ne dagaa de diya, lekin yh dil kaise dagaan de?

My Diary

Its the season of moving out of Montreal. I commence it with my move t Toronto on the 18th of this month. Considering that I am not sparing much time between finishing off my courses and moving(as usual), next week will be one hell of a week.
I plan to move in a more organised manner than I did last time!

So heres my diary for next week, till now!

Monday, 11th August

12.30pm: Meet Fay and sort out ISA printing issue with CSU
1.30pm: Meet SB for creating the quixtar website
2.15pm: Meet Uma for giving her the notes
3.00pm: Submit application for change of convocation date
6.30pm: Broffman Building, McGill, final presentation practice for Global Brands
9.40pm: Singh is Kinng, AMC

Tuesday, 12th August

12.30pm: Final print out of project & presentation
1.30pm: Dispose books
2.30pm: Backhome to prepare for the last presentation
5.00pm: ISA Meeting
6.00pm-9.30pm: Global Brands final presentation
9.45pm: Final Drinks with teammates


Wednesday, 13th August

10.00am: Call Mona
10.30am:PACKING STARTS
1.00pm: SB comes home,lunch
2.00pm: Furniture disposal starts
4.30pm: Hopefully we are done by then!
6.00pm: NRN picks up rest of the furniture
7.00pm: Dinner with NRN

Thursday, 14th August

10.00am:Packing continues
11.30am: Meet TH for lunch(making him feel guilty for missin ma farewell...
yes i m the devil:p)
2.00pm: Lunches with TH are never tht short but have to make it quick this time,
have to redirect mail and othr clerical stuff
4.00pm: Packing completes, clean up starts:kitchen day
6.00pm-10:00pm: Invigilation
10.30pm:Along with SM(the Yankee roomie, throw away livin room stuff


Friday, 15th August
7.00am:Clean up continues, my fav, the washroom!!!
8.30am: Be at ISA stall for I-Day celebrations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:D
2.00pm: Back on hme front, clean up my room and cook for my ''Torontian Friends''
6.00pm-10:00pm: Invigilation
10.30pm: Receive my ''Torontian Friends''

Le weekend, I would like to keep for my last memories of Montreal...Toronto will be a new life in many ways, in many dimensions,lemme enjoy the last of Montreal! Maybe the last of student life too...

The Day Amitabh Bachchan responded to me :D

http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/2008/07/26/day-94/


he metions about a blogger who commented on him, calling Alimighty HE,

thats me :)....check his day 93 coments, u'll find my comment there :D


Check no. 288

http://blogs.bigadda.com/ab/2008/07/25/day-93/?cp=all

Why is India not at War!

There have been two serial bomb blast in India in the last two days. Ahmedabad and Bangalore attacked, Surat was just saved in time, Jaipur,Mumbai,Malegaon,Hyderabad, the list keps growing. From malls to hospitals, its clear that the common Indian has been targeted. I have no doubt left in my mind that India has been attacked, unlike 1962 or 1971, this time its from inside.

The question remains, will India go on war or stay quiet and keep losing the war on teror. Till now, we are losing it, what will turn the tide?

Its time for India to go on war. Fight terror inside, with an iron hand. Fight terror outside where we can. How come when my countrymen cant get sleep, terror outfits in Bangladesh and Pakistan rest in peace. Attacking Pakistan is perhaps not strategically possible at this point of time. However Bangladesh cannot be spared. How can we not strike out the root cause of terror from our backyard?

Its time to lose our patience.

Is there anyone better out there?

Mil Gaya, Mamma Mia

You know when you go to the theatre and watch a movie and feel as if you are living it. You feel like singing and dancing along with the characters. Oh Boy, it had been sooooo long since I experienced that! It had been so many years since a Bollywood movie was made that well. This weekend my friends dragged me along for Kismet Konnection and I swear to God I had that weird feeling that this gonna be a special night. After watching the movie, I was so damn disappointed that I did not know whom to criticize. A middle aged trying to be babe Vidya Balan, a stereotypical love story made by director who is probably from the stone age or the hideous depiction of desi Toronto businessmen?
O Canada!
Now, whenever we watch a movie at this Montreal multiplex, theres always a second chance. Yes, no one actually checks whether you are popping off to the neighbouring screen for a second movie. So me and a couple of friends decided to take our chances with Mamma Mia. Kismet Konnection seemed to have had some direct connection with headaches, rest of my friends were down with that and decided that one try had been enough to ruin their Friday night. I probably had the courage of going for this movie coz I had been an ardent admirer of Meryl Streep and couldn’t wait to see her for the first time on the big screen. We went for Mamma Mia.
The movie started with a young girl mailing out invitations of her marriage, to her three possible fathers. The setting was picture perfect and I mean it, it was this heavenly island in Greece where the houses were old but ever so beautiful. And then came Meryl Streep and she brought the house down with her charm, frill and beauty. The Abba songs, those 70s dances and that spirit of having a blast, was just so perfect. It was like Hollywood was paying a tribute to Hum Aapke Hain Kaun, just that the jokes were closer to Sex and the City. However the fun had just started. The twists and turns in the story were so fascinating. There were so many funny and ticklish moments. Some sad and emotional too but just about the right amount. Just like you need the right amount of chilly and salt to make that perfect curry.
Truly, Meryl Streep is the original Dancing Queen………………………

Bollywood @ Jazz Festival

Reality Bites

Sometimes I am in that mood when I am lost. I am lost in my thoughts and wonder why I live. What do I wait to achieve? When I realize I will probably never get what I truly want, I dream. Dreams can sometime save a life. Dreams can bring that smile to your face which was never supposed to be there. We all are born for a purpose. I wish I knew what is my purpose in life. Why is it so difficult to be content. If I look through someone else's eye, I have so much in my life. If I look through my own, I have so little.
Today I realized the hardest job in my life could be to face reality. To stop living in denial and just be honest. The truth is so bitter that I may not even be able to confess it to my own self.

The Devil Codes JAVA

Last week I, along with a group of friends were accused of playing politics, bringing in groupism into an arena, which allegedly hadn’t seen it earlier. If this incident were to happen four years back, I would be terribly hurt and probably on a soul searching mission, asking myself where had I gone wrong. However, four year down the line, I realise that I have changed quite a bit as a person. Allegations of politics and dirty games don’t seem to hurt me anymore. I will be cheating myself if I were to take the credit completely myself. The credit for not being naive, the credit for understanding what putting up pretence is, credit for understanding the only one who matters in this big bad world is ‘Me’.
When I got my first job, I was so sure I would never do anything that is ethically wrong. I would never do anything that would hurt the commitments I had already made. I was too idealistic. It took just nine months of the corporate world to change me. The work atmosphere changed me to some extent but people changed me the most. It is usually assumed that your work is most affected by your superiors or your team. I have a different take on that. I think we get most affected by the people whom we spend the most time with, the people with whom we share our deepest secrets with, the people whom we trust the most.
The best way to become smarter is to be fooled. I don’t know how many times I have been fooled or been lied to in my life. However, the ones I have known have been more than enough for me to handle. The first one to rush to my mind is being lied to, over and over by friends (atleast they still claim to be) about their plans and relationships. Manyatimes I would get a feeling that I was being used by ‘friends’ to achieve their own motives. I have no idea how much politics exists in industries outside software but I can tell you that politics in software is not soft at all. The only thing soft is the outer persona of people.
I once thought of writing a book about my experiences at ‘Nihilent’. I never completed it. Probably as I never knew what the end would be. Perhaps I know now. I notice that people in the West are obsessed with the concept of the devil. Take my word, I have met the devil. He\She changed me in a way that I would never be the same again. I don’t think I can ever claim the moral high ground but I am sure that I will be very successful in the corporate world someday. That day I will go back to the devil and thank him\her for the lessons I have been taught by the actions taken by some people I had once trusted. I recently wrote to someone that she will have bad and good experiences in her life but please treasure every bit of both. As we learn and grow with every experience for our own good. If you read this and cannot control your curiosity to find the devil and are wondering ‘where in the world is the devil’, then all I can tell you is that the devil codes JAVA, go find him\her sitting in some big corporate office making his\her way upto the top.

China - the rich communist

China and Pakistan are two sides of the same coin. Fundamentalism rules roost in both countries. One is Right wing other is Left wing. Perhaps it is a cruel joke by the Almighty to place Pakistan on India's Right and China to India's Left!
The world seems to be waking up to the destructive dragon only now. Nancy Pelosi today said in Dharamshala, "Situation in Tibet is a challenge to conscience of the world". I say China is worse than Pakistan as it has the economic power, so the world seems reluctant to control its gross human rights violations. It is so true. Thats why the statement by the U.S. House Speaker is so apt.

China has to leave Tibet...I hope India co-operates with USA on this mission. India should have helped USA in combat operations in Afghanistan too but Pakistan didn't want it. As they knew Indian help in Afghanistan could mean the end of Taliban, Pakistan's closest ally.

Now, Pakistan is quiet about Tibet! Why are you Pakis quiet? When terrorists kill people in Kashmir you guys call them freedom fighters. However when protestors in China are ruthlessly beaten up and tortured, on camera that too, Pakistan prefers to hide in its bunkers.

TIBET should be an independent state and every Indian has an ethical duty to help their cause.