Peace, ambition and happiness

Bollywood has always inspired me to break unbroken boundaries and explore what was previously unthinkable. This might come as a surprise to someone who thinks that Bollywood is only a name given to a kind of cinema that portrays a make believe world, not representing reality. Nothing can be further from the truth. Actually, it depends on your ability to decode scenes and interpret suttle actions and gestures of characters into something more meaningful. Understanding what motivates some people to do what they do. Trust me, I am still speaking about Bollywood.

So what does this article have to do with my title? Yesterday I saw Luck By Chance (LBC). The movie raised quite a few vital points. Is there a difference in being content and happy? My interpretation was always that if you have no aspirations, you are content and you will be happy. I have discussed about this in few of my earlier articles written in 2006. However, LBC goes a step further and says that being content is in your hands. You choose in life that the life you are living, would you call that a success or failure. If you believe in what you do, make yourself believe that you are a success when compared to others who have been a part of your past, then you choose to be successful and thus happy. For instance, if you are a married woman and a working as a French teacher at age 28, the choice is yours, to decide if you are successful or not. You could convince yourself that you are a failure in life because you have a childhood friend who works as an IT manager and earns much more than you do. Or you could be successful by interpreting your life as that of being successful in your family life (good marriage) and doing a job you love to do. Will that IT manager be able to say the same? Maybe not, after all who dreams of becoming an IT manager as a kid. What do you mean by success, becomes terribly important. Is money the only parameter? Or is love for your family and work a more important factor? The choice is yours to make. You choose success in life, not your destiny.

Achievement is only a state of mind, you can achieve it.

Dreams, to be achieved

I dedicate this song to myself!

Is pagle ko kaun bataye
dhoond raha hai jo tu jag mein
koi jo paaye
man mein hi paaye

Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina
Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina

Aise dagar koi agar jo apnaaye
har raah ke wo ant pe raste hi paaye

Dhoop ka rasta jo pair jalaaye
Mod to aaye chaaanv na aaye
Raahi jo chalta hai chalta hi jaaye
koi nahi hai jo kahi use samjhaaye

Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina
Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina

Naina re naina re
Naina re naina re

Door se hi sagar jise har koi maane
Paani hai wo ya ret hai ye kaun jaane
Jaise ke din se rain alag hai
Sukh hai alag hai aur chain alag hai
Par ye jo dekhe wo nain alag hai
Chain to apna sukh hai paraaye

Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina
Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina

Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina
Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina

Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina
Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina

Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina
Sapno se bhare naina To neend hai na chaina

Patient, yet

If you truly know even one bone of me, you would agree that patience is not my virtue. Impulsive, intuitive and action prone, those are all the words that truly describe me. I have rarely been able to play the waiting game. I still remember how I was asked by my team mate at Nihilent to be patient enough to complete two years before I quit the politically charged workplace. I was the first to move on for better opportunities. Not the last though, the tide had just turned. I did not wait for long to pursue an MBA. Took up the first opportunity available. I never regret being impatient, it always paid off. However, this time round I have shown unusual patience to wait for the right opportunity. I wonder why! Maybe Canada has changed me in many ways, for good. However, patience should never act as a cover for lack of courage. Courage, to take the right step. I am sure my roots will always guard me against that vice.

This week I have also gone through another strange phase. I have been remembering one of the greatest leaders India has ever had.

Indira Gandhi

.
Today, we seem to lack the courage and shrewdness she epitomizes, to change the course of destiny of millions of people. Things she did, would change India, her enemies and the world forever. Just imagine, how the world would be today if we had two epicentres of terror on both sides of India. Good heavens, she was not patient enough with the Pakistani army and its atrocities in East Pakistan.

Strange Intutions

Since last two weeks I have been having this insane premonition of a big earthquake. It feels as if there will be a huge natural calamity soon. I don't know the exact place but it feels like a place near Pindi in Pakistan. Its strange I don't why but it just feels as if I am waiting for the big one!

Passion misplaced

Have you ever waited with baited breath for a phone call or an email, from someone special, who was a complete stranger till sometime back? That usually signals start of a new relationship. You feel excited, nervous and elated about future prospects. Until ofcourse you realize that call or email is not coming anytime soon!

It wouldn't usually sting you that bad if you are also looking for a way out or get the feeling pretty early on that the other person isn't really looking for anything serious. Better even if you know the person isn't really interested in you. Atleast there are no expectations. However, what happened to me a few days back was just baffling. I am still trying to figure out if I got dumped and imagining the reasons for it. I knew things wouldn't work out before fixing up the date. However, decided to take the chance. I tried hard to remain disengaged but got drawn in by an apparent interest on the other side. A few intimate moments and deep secrets shared meant that I had dropped my initial inhibitions. Little did I know that the result would be this. Why would one want to share their deepest feelings and fears, when there is no genuine intent to get close? Isn't it really painful when you are initially not interested, then get drawn in due to the other person's persuasion and then eventually get dumped.

I fail to understand why someone would take the effort to make something beautiful and then just break it in a moment. Still wondering, was twenty six hours of pleasure worth days of distress. At least it makes for interesting reading.

Its a grey world

When will there be some good news?

In the subway last night, I saw this man reading a book titled, ''When will there be some good news?''. Precisely my sentiments. There is a limit to perseverence. How long can one sustain without any sign of success? How long can one fight depression in times of crisis? Many questions, without answer or hope. My option for hope was to go back to India. However, when I told my parents about coming back, I could distinctly hear the voice of disappointement. I don't understand why it is such a status symbol for Indian parents to have their kids abroad. It just isn't worth wasting our lives here. India is a lively and beautiful country. In many ways one understands its beauty only after staying away from it.
Yesterday I met someone who I thought would give me some career advise. I thought, this guy was also a recent MBA graduate and had landed up with a plump job in this bad market. So he can guide me well. However, reality always sucks. He told me how he had blatantly lied on his CV about doing things which he had never done before and asked me to do the same as well. Can ou imagine my horror when he told me the full details of how I could go about scammimg people with my falsehood and lies! I don't say that I have always been truthful in my life. I have lied but under circumstance where I had little option. Yes, I have lied but thats when I felt I was being meted out unfair treatment and need to hit back. However cheating innocent professionals is just not acceptable. It is not the right thing to do and I will not succumb to any such temptation in times of hardship, I will just not do it.
''Life gives you two paths, the right one and the wrong one. Wrong one looks simple initially but will ultimately give you failure. Right one seems tough initially, you will face many obstacles but will succeed ultimately''. I wish Adi Chopra would make more movies like DDLJ.
Everything has just been plain bad lately, on job front, on country front, movie front and all other personal fronts as well. Life this Christmas resembles rubbles of Kandahar, builiding a Toronto on it is not an easy job (no pun intended, whatsoever!).

Pakistan: Would you like it Stable or Unstable?

Some smart aggression

Bleed India until death surely seems to be the motto of many powerful people in Pakistan. For us Indians, it becomes imperative to understand, who is our enemy? Not all Pakistanis but a selected lot, for sure. Should other Pakistanis suffer for actions of some? I am sure there is something about it written in the Bhagwad Gita but I haven't really read it, so wouldn't know. However, what I do know is that to save India we need to think of our own self interest. So priority should be India and then anything or anyone else. Let us now try to understand, who is the enemy? The terrorists, the people who fund them, the people who sympathize with them and the ones who manage them. If you wreck the management, the company will eventually declare bankruptcy. So go for the management. Now, who manages them? The ISI, Pakistani army and a few in Pakistani political circles (read many in PML-Q). Now, that we have a clear identification of the enemy, how do we destroy them? Notice that I am using the word destroy and not weaken because I believe that second chances are given only to freinds not foes.

Covert military option should always be an open option whenever we have any intelligence about terrorist bases near the LOC or the international border. This will result in these operations moving into the heartland of Pakistan. Now, we have the global clout to cripple Pakistan economically. Let us use that intelligently, to dry up the coffers of the Pakistani army. Use American friends to do it. Obama has actually already done half the job for us by giving a plump post to Hillary Clinton. She has to be used aa a strategic asset in this mission. Join the US and NATO forces in Afghanistan. Offer Canada to replace it's army in Kandahar. They have been desperately looking for ways to get out from there. We do not need to rush our army there in haste. We need to understand the situation on the ground, ask Canadians for feedbacks from the ground and then move in gradually. In this phase, Indian embassy in Kabul needs to create a favorable ground for India, in and around Kandahar. Kandahar is important as it could serve as a base to support Baloch rebels. Nushki could serve as an entry point where India could establish its presence. Proximity from Quetta helps. Now, although Quetta is the capital of Baluchistan, majority of the population there are not Baloch but they are Pakhtuns. This can work in our favor. Pakhtuns are agitated with the Pakistan military in Waziristan. This sentiment needs to be spread to Quetta and surrounding areas as well. The Afghan government should also be encouraged to get back Pakhtun dominated areas from Pakistan as Pakhtuns are the largest ethnic group in Afghanistan. However, alienating Pakhtuns might be hard as they hold key posts in Pakistni military and federal government. However, every opportunity created by the US strikes in NWFP should be utilized. A Baloch and Pakhtun unity could mean doom for the Punjabi dominated Pakistani army establishment. A Pakhtun rebellion in the army should also be looked at as an opportunity waiting to be exploited.
The US has its hands tied when it comes to acting freely against Pakistan as its troops in Afghanistan depend on Pak food supply and military help on Afghan Pak border near NWFP. Here, Tajakistan comes into the picture. India has already established an aircraft base there. Now, whether food supplies can take a route from there into Afghanistan can be looked at. Russia could be a very important player here. India might have to do a difficult, rather unthinkable task of bringing Russia and US closer. However, its worth giving it a shot. If that can be done, then Central Asia could be used by US and allied troops to launch attack against terrorists inside Pakistan. This hugely diminishes the influence Pakistani army has with America.

All these if done simultaneously, can bleed Pakistan to death. Seperating Balochistan from Pakistan could mean cutting of 50% of its energy and land resources. It would mean a strong Indian ally breathing right besides Karachi, Pakistan economic capital. Hence in the long term it becomes important that Pakistan becomes a weak and fragmented state, so that we Indians can live our lives in peace. Who says we need war for peace, we just need some smart aggression.

Opportunity in Tragedy

Pakistan was in the midst of terrible economic crisis when the terrorists attacked Mumbai on the dark night of 26th November. Now, coincidentally it was the same day it received the IMF fund, which was a bailout for this economically failing state. However, it needs more funds to keep it running.

India has progressed a lot in the last decade. Its global clout has strengthend. It established many important contacts in organizations around the world. This clout needs to be used to squeeze aid meant for Pakistan unless they keep elimianting terrorists and their infrastructure. This is a historical chance. A golden opportunity of sorts. If we do not nail them down now, we will regret forever.

Surgical strikes also should be in store. If nothing else works in the next 45 days, then strike Pakistan where it hurts. A common fear is a full fledged nuclear war. However, if we put ourselves in Pakistan's shoes, war seems like an unlikely option. They are crumbling economically. Any war means certain death for them. Taliban has gained stronghold in NWFP. If Pak army moves away from there, these guys are ready to enter Eastern Punjab. Kashmiri terror groups are already supporting, they will help them takeover parts of POK too. PAK army knows this very well. They know they need to finish these elements from SWAT valley else, Islamabad might fall.

They cannot afford war now. Neither can US or EU. Their troops depend on PAK army on the eatern border. Lets tell the West that if they want to prevent a conflict and protect their troops, India will have to be rewarded. No compromises.

Who is living in denial?

Pakistan elite & middle class: They seem to think terrorists are not part of their society but something that happens only in Afghanistan,tribal areas and Kashmir. Wake up, your army and inelligence agencies train them and use them over and over again. People in Pakistan deny that they resent India's progress so much that it leads them to support destructive plans.

Indian people: These terrorists could not have succeeded without local help. What drives people to such things? Fundamentalist religious techings, vested political interest which does not stop extremist organizations and communal politicians like Advani, Narendra Modi, Karunanidhi and Mulayam Singh. These 3 factors need to be eliminated, no matter which side you stand on. Madrassas need to be stopped, deal toughly with Bangladesh, Nepal and ofcourse Pakistan. This is probably the only denial Indian people have come out of. Now, almost everyone knows that Pakistani conspiracies are threating the very concept of Indian society. Pakistan today is economicall crumbled, politically divided, militarily in a wek position due to desertions. This is the time to act shrewdly. Don't declare war. Fight a proxy war. Use your contact in IMF and World Bank to attach Indian interest strings of the loans Pakistan need, wthout which they can not survive. Strike terrorists with blasts in their offices, terror camps and the malls which the underworld owns and runs in cities like Karachi. Strike them where it hurts. Hack Pakistani websites which promote movie and music piracy. Block all sources of revenue for them.

Pakistani Media: This is the most evident and biggest group in denial. They love to spend energy in targeting Indian media for being patriotic but fail to concentrate on terror camps and operations in cities like Lahore and Karachi. Why so? Is it not safe for them. Thats BS! BBC is trying to find these elements in recent reports, although not very succesful yet. How can you explain a white lady reporter reporting form interiors of Pakistan and local media not doing it. Pakistani media truly in denial!

It hurts

At India Gate in Delhi we have a tribute for the unknown soldier. That is where Indian heads of state pay tribute every Republic Day. However tonight, I pay tribute to the martyr whom is not unknown to me, my best friend's father. I also want to pay tribute to all those unknown people who died, trying to fight the terrorists in Mumbai. Tonight Mumbai was attacked by terrorists again and perhaps the worst attack the city has ever seen. The attack is still very much on, as news trickles in about more blasts and more bullets being shot at the army, police and civilians. The streets of Mumbai are a battleground tonight. The Taj is burning, the Oberoi is under seige and the Marriot was not spared either. From Borivali to Nariman Point, the whole city has been terrorized.

Neither is the city stranger to terrorist attacks nor am I. However, this time terror has shattered someone very close to me and that hurts, real bad. I do not know what will be the consequence of this attack. I just hope and pray that my city comes out a winner at the end of this dark night.

Just Do It

These are times of uncertainty and change. None of us know what will happen next, what our world will look like in 2009. But again, when have we known the future! I wish I knew what will happen next. Come to think of it, how boring would life get then if I knew evrything. No suprises.

Lately I have been very disturbed as I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. I don't know if this is the worst financial crisis we have seen in last 100 years but this crtainly the worst period of time I have had. No Job, no family, a career thats lost somewhere in the middle of a large ocean of financial distress. I have always taken the safe options in life, to avoid the struggle.
Growing I acted in many skits,plays and dramas. I was often complimented for my acting and dancing skills. Infact till date I meet people who remember me for the roles I enacted on stage. If it weren't for the fear of failure I would have ended up in the entertainment world today. Perhaps, in front of the camera. I was this unknown fear of struggle that led to do an MBA. My logic was that the 2000 internet bubble burst could happen again and I would be without a job then, unless I was in a position where I could fire others, rather than getting fired myself. The answer was an MBA. Become the boss. The only problem was that my imaginary recession came much faster than I actually thought. So inspite of planning my whole life I ultimately couldn't stay away from struggle. So if you are thinking something might be too risky to do, just shutup and bounce coz life will give you wat it planned to give you anyways. So just go ahead and do it.

Raj's faux pas

This agitation by MNS chief will certainly hurt North Indians in the short term. However this will cause grave damage to Maharashtra in the long term. Firstly, new investments might be affected. In today's India when invetsments by Indian and foreign companies are coveted by all States, Maharashtra cannot afford to sully its image with regards to law and order. And these incidents are targeted directly towards the working class, the ones who make industries 'low cost', thus enhancing their profits and boosting their market value. If there is a sense that cheap labour is being driven out of Maharashtra and government can't stop it, it could be dangerous for industrial growth. Look at what happened to West Bengal. Mamta Banerjee's agitation not only led to a loss for farmers there but also has given a bad name to the State. Indian industrial houses are thinking twice before investing in ruarl areas of WB now. Gujarat ofcourse was quick to capitalize on Mamta's faux pas and rightly so. If they wouldn't, someone else would have done it.
This agitation has also hurt the image of Marathi Manoos. No matter how much you might cry foul against the Hindi news channels, the fact remains that people across the country are sympathizing with the poor taxi driver whose cab is being smashed and the poor guy is being mercilessly beaten up. And finally the worst nightmare of the Thackreys. Eventually, maybe not now but within a decade, demands will be raised to make Mumbai a union territory. Probably a FCR, Financial Capital Region, which has its own state government and law and order is responsibility of the Centre. If these things actually happen (the second one is already happening), the biggest loser will ironically be the Marathi Manoos.

To the moon and back

Sitting on earth we fascinate about the beauty of the moon, its brightness, its attractive colour and its appearance of purity. Strange when in reality the moon has no light of its own, its a deserted land mass filled with huge pot holes. On my recent trip to India, I met many who fantasize about the life outside India. An imagination of perfection, green lands, lovely climate and lots of money. I don't blame them, in India we somehow tend to love the things we don't have. I did it too. Now, I miss the things I had.

The Casting City

Its strange to be back in Pune. It brings back so many memories, so many experiences. When I first cam to Pune I was like wet clay. I was moulded, remoulded and decorated with passage of time. Some moulders tried their best to make a hollow but beautiful exterior. However, there is some substance still left in it. The clay has got harder with time. Nails can't leave their scratches on the surface that easily anymore. However the mould has become brittle while becoming harder. Its becoming harder to change the shape. Imperfections are harder to remove. Maybe its the imperfections that make it that much more beautiful.

I wonder what life would have been if I had not moved to this city at 15. Maybe discovering myself would have taken another route. Maybe I would have got moulded a bit differently.

Life in Trance

I am going to India next week and I will be back after a month. However I am not quite sure for how long. In our MBA class we knew last Fall that the U.S. is heading into a recession. By spring 2008, we knew they are in recession, no matter what Wall Street or Capitol Hill said. The writing was on the Wall (pun intended). However, the magnitude of the problem was not apparent. We knew its a recession and there will be job losses but the worst crisis since the Great Depression was not anticipated.
I had planned this October 2008 trip to India as long back as September 2007. However, I never imagined these would be the conditions in which I will be making the trip. I had a scenario in mind that I might not have a job and I will make this trip but the situation is much more complicated now. The temptation to go back to India was always strong since the Indian economy was booming. Hence finding good jobs in India was always an alternative. Now the boom isn't that apparent. Ironically, the temptation has only become stronger. Why? Wall Street fiasco, uncertain future of North America, new contacts in Mumbai - family and friends who were not on the scene till late 2007 and no fascination to stay back here...all have worked as a team.
So this trip might be the most important trip I ever took. Somehow I feel my life is in a trance, I am in between sleep and consciousness, the controls are not really in my hands, no matter what I do, outcome might be decided by someone else.

Dream Crasher

When I had first joined the MBA program, I was aksed by our career management services to take a career test. The career test had a section where I had to fill my top five dream companies. I filled:

1. Lehman Brothers
2. Merrill Lynch
3. Goldman Sachs
4. Morgan Stanley
5. I dont even remember now, it was just to fill up the last spot

All my dream companies have either crashed, been acquired or will never be the same again. The last week has crashed the main reasons for which I joined the MBA program - to be an investment banker with one of these investment banks. Till a couple weeks back, a million guys would kill to have that job. Now, a million guys are being fired from their jobs. What tricks time plays! Some people don't believe in destiny, perhaps last week's crash might make them rethink. Change is inevitable, my dreams have to turn a new leaf, better late than never.

Bad Timing

For a batsman (cricketer), timing is very important. If you can hit the ball at the right moment then you don't need all your power to hit the ball out of the park. This rule works for tennis too. This rule also works for careers. Now, take my case for instance. Graduating from MBA (in Finance)at a time when the biggest banks on Wall Street are falling like a pack of cards. America and possibly the world is facing its worst economic crisis in decades. If I had graduated in a boom period (like I did after my engineering), I wouldn't have to use even half of my power or energy to search for an elusive job.

So what can we do to prevent bad timing. Nothing much, its not hard to predict when the market will plunge into recession. Well, I say that because if you note recession and boom periods in last two decades we can observe that they come after every 5 to 6 year periods. However, what is harder to predict is which sector will be the worst affected. Late last century it was the IT industry and now it is the financial sector.

Now let me become an astrologer and predict when will the boom period be back. I say, it will be 2011-2012 and that would last till 2016. Which sector will be next to crash? I think the media industry. Ask me the reason and I will tell you I don't know why!