Love,Pain and Destiny

Sitting in front of my PC at home, alone, on a chilly saturday evening, I put words to my pain. I don't know whether I am mature enough to understand love yet. But I do know that I have had many a tyrsts with love and it's siblings. Pain and Destiny.Someone once told me that a person can fall in love just once in his entire life. I rubbished this view, as I felt I was capable of loving more than once. Or maybe I was just hoping I could fall in love again. A few days back I found out, I have failed miserably.

Sometimes I felt that distances can reduce feelings. If things are not going to work out, maintain a distance, feelings will subside on their own. After all it was a tried and tested formula. But it didn't happen this time. The first rendezvous itself brought all those feelings to the surface. Failed love is like that wound which will never heal.

"You miss someone the most when she's sitting in front of you and you know you can't have her"

My office has two buildings, about 500m apart. Often while walking to the parking of the other building, it gets dark and lonely. I keep missing that someone who should have been walking besides me. Who should have been there to keep me company on cold nights. But when I reach my car, it's just me.

Manyatimes I feel helpless at the hands of destiny. Although we can make our own destinies, there are somethings, especially in matters of the heart that we can never change. So even if I know that these feelings will only bring me pain and misery, I can't help it. So what do I do? Go somewhere far far away and hope that I can forget my past. Hope that I can change my destiny.