Life in Trance

I am going to India next week and I will be back after a month. However I am not quite sure for how long. In our MBA class we knew last Fall that the U.S. is heading into a recession. By spring 2008, we knew they are in recession, no matter what Wall Street or Capitol Hill said. The writing was on the Wall (pun intended). However, the magnitude of the problem was not apparent. We knew its a recession and there will be job losses but the worst crisis since the Great Depression was not anticipated.
I had planned this October 2008 trip to India as long back as September 2007. However, I never imagined these would be the conditions in which I will be making the trip. I had a scenario in mind that I might not have a job and I will make this trip but the situation is much more complicated now. The temptation to go back to India was always strong since the Indian economy was booming. Hence finding good jobs in India was always an alternative. Now the boom isn't that apparent. Ironically, the temptation has only become stronger. Why? Wall Street fiasco, uncertain future of North America, new contacts in Mumbai - family and friends who were not on the scene till late 2007 and no fascination to stay back here...all have worked as a team.
So this trip might be the most important trip I ever took. Somehow I feel my life is in a trance, I am in between sleep and consciousness, the controls are not really in my hands, no matter what I do, outcome might be decided by someone else.

Dream Crasher

When I had first joined the MBA program, I was aksed by our career management services to take a career test. The career test had a section where I had to fill my top five dream companies. I filled:

1. Lehman Brothers
2. Merrill Lynch
3. Goldman Sachs
4. Morgan Stanley
5. I dont even remember now, it was just to fill up the last spot

All my dream companies have either crashed, been acquired or will never be the same again. The last week has crashed the main reasons for which I joined the MBA program - to be an investment banker with one of these investment banks. Till a couple weeks back, a million guys would kill to have that job. Now, a million guys are being fired from their jobs. What tricks time plays! Some people don't believe in destiny, perhaps last week's crash might make them rethink. Change is inevitable, my dreams have to turn a new leaf, better late than never.

Bad Timing

For a batsman (cricketer), timing is very important. If you can hit the ball at the right moment then you don't need all your power to hit the ball out of the park. This rule works for tennis too. This rule also works for careers. Now, take my case for instance. Graduating from MBA (in Finance)at a time when the biggest banks on Wall Street are falling like a pack of cards. America and possibly the world is facing its worst economic crisis in decades. If I had graduated in a boom period (like I did after my engineering), I wouldn't have to use even half of my power or energy to search for an elusive job.

So what can we do to prevent bad timing. Nothing much, its not hard to predict when the market will plunge into recession. Well, I say that because if you note recession and boom periods in last two decades we can observe that they come after every 5 to 6 year periods. However, what is harder to predict is which sector will be the worst affected. Late last century it was the IT industry and now it is the financial sector.

Now let me become an astrologer and predict when will the boom period be back. I say, it will be 2011-2012 and that would last till 2016. Which sector will be next to crash? I think the media industry. Ask me the reason and I will tell you I don't know why!

Of struggle and more

Its been over two weeks now that I am living in Toronto. But Canada's biggest city doesn't even have the smallest of jobs for me. Its just amazing that how I apply to so many places and just get no replies back. Its almost as if those emails go into a black hole. A black hole of HR or a recruitment firm. Now, I have a friend who works for one such recruitment firm and he offers me advice almost in sympathy, I feel sometimes. He would tell me, dude you can get a job within a month, max! Now after two weeks its changed to, its time that you start making those cold calls or go to the office and meet the recruiter. Almost sounds as if he says, Ghar pe baithe baithe job nahi milta. Oooof. My frustration is dripping through this blog.

But you tell me, is it that easy to pick the phone and call any office and say, I need a job. I mean, many people tell me thats the way to go but I just can't get myself to do it. It just seems absurd. Almost like telemarketing, except that I will be selling myself here. Going and just dropping into an office is even worse. Its like the height of desperation. And the worst part is that I made a promise to myself to go to India in October. Now, I stare at a prospect of returning to India without a job and I can't even start saying how messed up that will make my vaccation. A vaccation across seven seas when the credit is just pilling up, two years back I would have never guessed that this would be me. So on this Friday night of frustration and despair, I hope I somehow find the courage to pick up the phone and start taking that next step which may, just may help me find that elusive job. Or else the struggler will have to go back home, not for good though.

Yeh hai Mumbai meri Jaan

I have had an unbelievable couple of weeks. I still don't have a job and am paying a crazy amount to rent out a den in Toronto. However, that was expected and is quite believable. Whats unbelievable are the movies I have been watching. Hindi movies have never been so good, so consistently. Is it me whos missing Mumbai or are the movies really good?

I loved Bachna Ae Haseeno, then came Rock On which truly ROCKED! Then I watched A Wednesday. Coincidentally it was on a Wednesady midnight(not planned at all), amazing, just too good! I don't remember the last time I saw a good movie about a issue which I feel so strongly about. Today I watched Mumbai Meri Jaan and once again it did not dissapoint me. Once again, it touched a few issues I feel very strongly about. Here I have to mention, other than the terrorism and communal tension issues, the aspect which this movie potrayed very well was the issue of media tamasha in India today. I still remember how I would always taunt my sister and mom for watching those dramatic news programs on Star News. It was about time someone told these so called journalist that something has gone terribly wrong!
This year I have seen some real high quality work from Bollywood. Jaane Tu Ya Jaane Na was excellent and so were the ones I mentioned above. Let me say here that I still haven't seen Aamir which is again supposed to be top class. Mumbai film industry seems to be having a good year. On the other hand the city is having a tense year. What with Raj T, poisoning minds of people at every opportunity he gets. I hope all this politics dies down very soon and we can once again see the true spirit of brotherhood in Mumbai. I was born twenty seven years ago in that city. I have learnt to live and let live in that city. The city has taught me how to love and how hate creates only hate. The city has taught me why we should enjoy life and why we should live every moment, without wasting time. The city has taught me to be ambitious and be professional every moment and then get personal with a complete stranger.

Mumbai, I miss you tonight.