Life in Trance

I am going to India next week and I will be back after a month. However I am not quite sure for how long. In our MBA class we knew last Fall that the U.S. is heading into a recession. By spring 2008, we knew they are in recession, no matter what Wall Street or Capitol Hill said. The writing was on the Wall (pun intended). However, the magnitude of the problem was not apparent. We knew its a recession and there will be job losses but the worst crisis since the Great Depression was not anticipated.
I had planned this October 2008 trip to India as long back as September 2007. However, I never imagined these would be the conditions in which I will be making the trip. I had a scenario in mind that I might not have a job and I will make this trip but the situation is much more complicated now. The temptation to go back to India was always strong since the Indian economy was booming. Hence finding good jobs in India was always an alternative. Now the boom isn't that apparent. Ironically, the temptation has only become stronger. Why? Wall Street fiasco, uncertain future of North America, new contacts in Mumbai - family and friends who were not on the scene till late 2007 and no fascination to stay back here...all have worked as a team.
So this trip might be the most important trip I ever took. Somehow I feel my life is in a trance, I am in between sleep and consciousness, the controls are not really in my hands, no matter what I do, outcome might be decided by someone else.