Montreal

Montreal welcomed me with snow. As soon as my flight landed it started snowing. What does that signify? I don't know! I am too bothered to think of metaphors right now. The last 2 days have been full of nostalgia and self doubt. Did I make the right decision? Was it worth leaving my cozy life in Pune? Lets see, I will know soon.
The city is beautiful and I loved the walk down St. Catherine. Hoping to make interesting freinds here. Happy new year to Everyone, I hope mine is very happy and...

End of an Era

It does feel like end of an era. An era has ended in my life, the era of HSBC. Peut etre, era of Indian software companies. Today was my last day at HSBC. I feel sad. Take back really happy meories, of the events, the people, the experience. My first onsite trip, London, Canary wharf, a dream office. Then the fun I had with the team back in India.
Yesterday while returning from office, as I sat on the pillion seat, passing by GLT 1.0, thoughts came rushing to my mind. I suddenly realised it would be my last day tomorrow. I could remember the winter evenings of last year, me sharing a joke with a colleague, on the Level 5 terrace. The scene was beautiful, it was twilight and the Yerwada bridge was twinkling, courtesy, the traffic on it.
I remember when I left Nihilent, a good friend of mine asked me if I was feeling a little sad. I said no and I wasn't lying. Leaving Nihilent excited me! However now I understand what she was talking about. I will certainly miss HSBC.
Maybe the feeling is more because I got a splendid farewell. Not only did my team gift me a huge card and parker pens(yeah mon fav. brand) but so did the reporting team. I just didn't know how to thank them!
Bye Bye Kalyani Nagar, GLT, HSBC...I won't write a comment saying
"HSBC AN 16/12/2006:Added for Defect#20006" anymore!

Au Revoir...

Jinn

Jinn
Originally uploaded by abhi8381.

Grand Success, time to bid farewell

It's strange but I never thought that a 2 -minute performance could ever generate so much of adulation. I was hoping that the play turns out well. Not exactly. It turned out exceedingly well. I mean, the crowd was cheering and laughing in each scene. A big relief really, as I wasn't only an actor in the play but I had also written the story. So the acceptance of the story by the crowd mattered a lot to me. And also it was great to see that each and every actor performed amazingly in the final show.....too good guys.

I had an idea that people will like my role because of the reaction I received in the rehersals and also my department head's reaction during the review practice. But I had never imagined the kind of things people said to me yesterday night. Imagine this, a professional choreographer comes up to me and says"Do you perform dance shows professionally? Your dance step where you go around the stage was mind blowing"

Someone else "Have you learnt classical dancing" I say"No" He says "R u sure ?"

There were many who told me I was fabulous especially the dance but the best one was when this guy told me

"You were the performer of the night"

and believe me there were many other performances that night which were of amazing standards. And what was it with the photographs? Was it my costume? After the skit whenever I got up to go the food bar or to the restroom, people would stop me on the way and take a picture, whether it would be on their handicams, digital cameras or even mobile phones! Thanks for appreciation guy n gals, it feels great for sure.

There is no doubt that the CIBM townhall was of a much higher standard than the HSBC Annual day, whether it be the compering, singing or the dances. My favourite though was the "Kabuliwala" song sung by Jayant. He is too good a singer not to be singing professionally.

I hope I can get a CD of that night's performance. I just want to see what exactly did I do right:)
I thought I was doing a comedy sequence on stage but being complemented in such a manner for my dance was suprising to say the least. These last days at HSBC have been memorable ones, not that the earlier ones were not. Will talk about that some other day.

So the verdict is out, "Munnu Ka Chirag" which released on Friday, 8th December 2006 at the Elysium grounds, Koregaon Park was a superhit!!! Come to think of it and I realise we ended up making up a Bollywood masala skit. The skit had serious scenes, it had comedy, a romantic scene, a song for almost every character and yes some action too! Madam H in a action packed role:) . We made a bollywood potboiler guys...haha. Let the whole cast and crew take bow. "Guuyhhhzzz all of you were fahntashtic."



PS: Couldn't use Salaam E Ishq songs for the cast intro at the end as the play was getting stretched beyond it's time limit. But I am sure the song would have gone perfectly with the crowd mood.

Walk down memory lane

Thinking of a story, writing script and dialouges, is new for me. But not acting. That too acting out an Arabian Nights character in a musical. Now, what does that remind me of:)))

Abdullah! Few of my fondest memories. Those were days of fun and enjoyment.

Not to say that I am not having fun this time round. It's always fun to act and dance. The rehersals are fun filled, with loud laughter and crazy thinking. Hope it turns out the way I am imagining it to be. I wait patiently for Friday. My play releases on a Friday...hheeehee

Dream come True?

PS: Salaam -E - Ishq has fantastic tracks. Thinking of using the title in the play.

Love,Pain and Destiny

Sitting in front of my PC at home, alone, on a chilly saturday evening, I put words to my pain. I don't know whether I am mature enough to understand love yet. But I do know that I have had many a tyrsts with love and it's siblings. Pain and Destiny.Someone once told me that a person can fall in love just once in his entire life. I rubbished this view, as I felt I was capable of loving more than once. Or maybe I was just hoping I could fall in love again. A few days back I found out, I have failed miserably.

Sometimes I felt that distances can reduce feelings. If things are not going to work out, maintain a distance, feelings will subside on their own. After all it was a tried and tested formula. But it didn't happen this time. The first rendezvous itself brought all those feelings to the surface. Failed love is like that wound which will never heal.

"You miss someone the most when she's sitting in front of you and you know you can't have her"

My office has two buildings, about 500m apart. Often while walking to the parking of the other building, it gets dark and lonely. I keep missing that someone who should have been walking besides me. Who should have been there to keep me company on cold nights. But when I reach my car, it's just me.

Manyatimes I feel helpless at the hands of destiny. Although we can make our own destinies, there are somethings, especially in matters of the heart that we can never change. So even if I know that these feelings will only bring me pain and misery, I can't help it. So what do I do? Go somewhere far far away and hope that I can forget my past. Hope that I can change my destiny.

Umrao Jaan

Before going to see Umrao Jaan I read a bad review on the net. I thought to myself, whenever I read a bad review, expectations go low and I invariably end up liking the movie. Little did I know that the movie would have such an effect on me that I would end up writing a review.







To put it in short, the movie before interval is boring, very boring...HYPER BORING!!!
If it weren’t for my patience and the Rs 130/- ticket I would have left by interval time. After the interval it has good pace and story moves on quite well. The movie is 2 hr long before interval. Add to that a string of songs, most of which fail to connect with you. Don’t blame Anu Malik, Javed Akhtar or Alka Yagnik. The songs have good quality of music, ghazal lovers will like them. “Salaam” is hummable. “Agle Janam”, the folk song, can rivet the viewers to their seats for a few moments. The lyrics, very well written by Javed Akhtar and beautifully sung by Alka Yagnik. Then why do the songs bore the viewers so much? Sheer numbers?
Not exactly. It’s Aishwarya! She isn’t Umrao Jaan. She ain't the Umrao we knew. She does all the dance steps well but without the “ada” or finesse. She looks stunnigly beautiful, wearing glamorous outfits but there is no soul. There are tears in her eyes but no emotions on her face. Although she has perfomed quite well, she fails to enthrall viewers in the songs.If only looking beautiful good could make a movie hit, she would have more hits to her credit than her contemporaries.

The saving grace of this movie is Abhiseik Bachan and to some extent Shabana Azmi.
Shabana Azmi potrays her character perfectly. Abhisheik brings passion into his scenes with Ash(although she looks older to him in some scenes). His dialouge delivery is perfect and very convincing.
My favourite part of this movie was the interval. I have just one message for the director of this movie, “Jo ab kiye ho Dutta, aisa na kijo. Agle baar, aisi bore movie na bana ke dijo!”

The Grinch whole stole victory from Indian Cricket

When Greg Chappell successfully ousted Ganguly from the Indian team, I felt hurt.Not only as a Bengali but as an Indian too. It had bruised my self pride as an Indian that the most successful captain of my country's team had been kicked out by a foreignerwho didn't seem to care about Indian cricket and also Indians.

I have always been a firm believer in the karma theory. Your Karma shall follow you. Thou shall reap what thou sow. The ousting of Ganguly was plotted by Chappell and some board members and Dravid helped these guys execute their evil plans. So much evil was bound to reap failure. That is exactly what the Indian team has been receiving in the last 6 months.

Now comes the news that Chappell's term will not be extended after the next world cup.I would have preferred seeing him kicked off before the next world cup. Why sacrifice the world cup? As far as it goes for Dravid, I am sure he will also meet his fate.He will also be betrayed by someone he fully trusted. Lets just wait n watch!

Maa Durga

Maa Durga
Originally uploaded by abhi8381.

Durga Puja ends once again and we wait for next year, once again!

Moments...

Every moment seems like a decade but courage will prevail. I keep reminding myself of that rainy day. The day when rains hadn't stopped for 3 days. Bringing the city to a standstill. That city which never stops was stopped by nature's fury. But for me my battle had just begun. I couldn't bow down. I wouldn't give up at this point.
I had booked the date. 4th of July. I had to make it to the exam centre. My plans were too tight roped to sustain a failure. I ventured out with a umbrella and a raincoat. Although the rains weren't that heavy, the main issue here was the flooding. No buses were running, rickshaws weren't in a state to go. I had to walk down. About 5 kms. Thats fine. I was used to walking long distances. What I wasn't used to was walking through waist deep water. And believe it or not there were many people like me. I was actually walking through a sea of people on the busy Andheri Kurla road. Completely drenched by now, I was wondering how it could get worse. Well, it just did. I reached a point where the Mithi river was overflowing. The current was so strong, I was almost dragged of my feet. It was sheer human conviction that proded me on.
I finally managed to reach the test centre. A posh, suave building. Not a scar on it. Glass doors, electronic security and I! Gutter water dripping my Jeans. Hair like a crow, looking like a frog. Fortunately the test centre staff was considerate enough. Just one other student had managed to reach that morning. I was wondering how the staff had actually reached there. I tried drying myself in the restroom, not very sucessfully though. Then I sat for the exam.
Shivering in the AC, I gave my best shot. At the end of it when I got my range, that moment I felt I had crossed my first hurdle. That moment for me was a victory, in my own small sweet way. Victory against circumstances, victory of will over obstacle.
It is such moments that change one as a person. Transform you into a stronger individual. These moments stay with you for life to draw courage in all those dark times in the future when you won't see a way out. Moments that can change lives.

Strangers At Last Sight

“Let us become strangers once again. Lets forget the good times we had together and bid farewell to the past. And let us agree, for one last time that if ever we meet by accident, lets pretend that we never knew eachother. This is the end of the road for us. A road, which has been beautiful and enjoyable but was bumpy at the end. Lets not take bad memories of this journey as the good ones will give us happiness and hope and the bad ones will only remind me of you.”
This might sound like a tragic end to a passionate love story, but it is not. This is a logical end to a troubled friendship. Sometimes it could be harder to break off a friendship than breaking off with your girlfriend. Especially if he is the one you shared your deepest thoughts with. Especially if you think he is the only person who can understand you or give you the best advice in troubled times. Especially if you believe that he is your best friend, regardless of the fact that you may not be his best friend.
Trust is one of the most essential ingredients in any successful relationship and once the trust is lost, it is the signal of bad times to come. As you would dread to share your emotions with someone you don’t trust. And then at the smallest instance of breach of trust one would jump to extreme conclusions. I know all this might sound a little complex and a bit crazy but sometimes relationships end up getting this complex . Then why do we continue such relationships? Just for the reason that we have known eachother for long or we had trusted eachother in the past. It is better to end a friendship rather than getting irritated every time we see eachother.
But is it so easy to forget someone? Especially someone you would fall back on in those troubled times or at those times when you feel ecstatic and you know there would be no one happier for you than him. After all those good times keep haunting you when you sit alone in your room, no one to talk to and no one to share your feelings with. You keep feeling that this is the time you need him the most.
I have been through this phase in my life but at the end of it I have turned out to be a stronger person. Somewhere deep down this painful experience has given a slow death to the vulnerable human in me. Though I am sure that this plant of vulnerability will not die so easily. It will be brought back to life by the slightest touch of love or friendship. Often we tend to give problems more importance than they actually deserve and indulge in a vicious cycle of fault finding. What all this process leads to, is a further deterioration of the relationship. Some would suggest that one way of solving a problem would be just ignoring it. Including the person in a so-called “ignore list”. But does this method really work? It may work to a certain extent for the person making the list but what about the person in the list? He keeps wondering how long will I be on the list? Many a times the person wouldn’t even know that he is on the list. But why should one spend time wondering about such lists. Such lists are highly insensitive to the feelings of the other person and if anyone has kept you in such a list then why even care about it, since he doesn’t even deserve that much attention. Though it might be difficult not to give the person your attention. The reason being that you can’t simply forget the times you spent together.
It is very difficult to tear out those long years of friendship from the novel of your life, which might not be as big as “Lord Of The Rings”. Though it could as short as Eric Seagul’s “Love Story”. We have a short life and why waste it on such petty issues. It is best for the sake of all to move on in life, meet new people and start new stories rather than stretching the old ones that have already gone out of limits. Let’s just forget whatever happened in the past. If that’s not possible, then lets just forget eachother and become past for eachother. If that’s the way we could remain happy and cheerful, it’s best to be strangers at last sight.

-Abhijeet Nandy
Spring, 2003

Latest craze

Beedi Jali Le...Jigar se Piya
Jigar Maaaa badi aag hai!

Ek,Do,Teen

Ek,Do,Teen,Char,Paanch,Che....din gin gin ke thak gaya main

If last weekend made me ecstatic, this one is gloomy. Times running out and I haven't got off the mark yet. I hope Ganpati gives me some joy before he leaves.

Ecstacy

A day to remember! Finally it has come. I am very happy today and still a lot to go.

The Great Indian Divide - Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna

KANK might bomb at the box office because of it's unconventional story and ending. However it has suceeded in starting a debate over moralities. Below is a very good example of that. This is a chat I had with my friend who hails from the Hindi heartland and has "traditional Indian values". The below text demonstrates the disparity of thoughts between India and Bharat.

Me: tumhara sametime thik ho gaya

My Friend: ya,it has been always rigth.

Me: hmm

Me: tum bhi kal gaye the KANK dekhne?

My Friend: yes

Me: pasand aayi?

My Friend: ok,but for me resuts are not acceptable.

Me: results? tumne koi exam bhi di thi kya!!

My Friend: mean movie should not be ended that way.

Me: then which way shud it hv ended?

My Friend: I do not know,but they should not present rani and and sharukas heros.

My Friend: see,two homes were destroyed,big b died still that kind ofending ,not acceptable.

Me: par yaar, agar woh bandi kisi aur se pyaar karti hai and even the guy loves her, whats the use of staying in such a relationship where both were not happy

Me: i totally agree that it wasnt convincing at all that why rani wudlove shahrukh and not abhisheik but i feel sometimes u just cant say what might attract someone

My Friend: do you think ,a man who had 5-year old son,prefer to go for aanother women,because his wife is more sucessful thn him ,right?

Me: thats true that the guy was jealous of his wife and that was onereason why he was unhappy but again even his wife didnt try to adjust withhim. even for her , her career came first and rightly so. But u know itactually happens that way manyatimes.....i agree shahrukh wasnt the herobut he could rather be called the protagonist

My Friend: and a women rani who killed her father by her shamefullbehavior,broke two home had right to go for another married man onlybecause abhishek wants the things,that she should do.

Me: ok....see i m sure even rani's character(maya) didnt want to kill BigB....u see sometimes we do somethings not realising what the consequencemight be...maybe our intentions are not bad, its just that we are notclever enough

My Friend: after marrage why rani was thinking of other man.she need to search her love in her husband it self,and here abhishek was a goodhusband.

Me: hmm...what you say is correct according to our indian values...andmay also be practical.....but practicality doesnt hold good in true lifesometimes

My Friend: true life???? the situation shown in movie is not justified.

Me: so what do you say abhisheik should have done with Rani?

My Friend: abhisheik need to send her in mental hospital.

Me: :) mental hospital? why?My Friend: she was crying without any reason .

Me: ya thst true, she cried a bit too much

Me: but wat about shahrukh, shouldn't he also be sent to mental hospitalthen?

My Friend: ya sharuk was also a bad man,and that is what I am telling you cannot present them as heros.

Me: so you think only bad people can love outside their marriages?

My Friend: tell me name of one person who wants to became like sharuk and rani.

Me: obviously no one would want to break their marriages, they didnt too

My Friend: so they are not the heros of this film.

My Friend: and they should suffer.

Me: but you see the point remains , what would you do if you are stuck with a bad marriage, continue with it only because it is traditionally wrong to break your marriage?

My Friend: ya,ofcourse you could break your marrage,but you should haveappropiate reason for them.

Me: and you feel the reason shown in this movie was not appropriate?

My Friend: ya

My Friend: that is why we do not want to follow them

Me: so if shahrukh had not falln in love with rani and divorced preitywould that be justified?

My Friend: do you think ,a men who had 5-year old son,prefer to go for aanother women,because his wife is more sucessful thn him ,is right?

Me: you are repeating your question:-)

My Friend: ok,

Me: you didn't answer my question

My Friend: ya

My Friend: answering

My Friend: again what is the reason for your divorse,is it sufficient toleave your family because your wife is earing more.

Me: it is not that simple, she was earning more, she didnt have time forthe family and they were not compatible.......all this lead to hisaffair....

My Friend: if shahruk was feeling shame in taking care of his son,ya heshould go for divorse.

Me: so your final verdict is that these two are bad people and should bethrown out of society for what they did?

My Friend: they are bad ,but no need to thrown out of society for whatthey did.but they should realished that they were wrong.

Me: you know...i feel they are not bad people, it is just that they madewrong choices in life

My Friend: not wrong choices,they do not have rigth to do so.

Me: who are we to detrmine what is right for someone else?

My Friend: your right ends,where other ones is started.

And the "discussion" goes on...

My First Book

Writing a book is one of the most creative activities that one can do. It provides an outlet for thoughts and ideas hidden in one’s mind. Since past couple of years I wanted to write a book. As a matter of fact, I did start writing it. Unfortunately due to lack of time I haven’t been able to complete it yet. I have named it “Changing Times”.
During my engineering studies the Indian economy wasn’t going great guns like it is today. Getting a job was tough; this created lot of uncertainty in my mind. After graduation I had to make a critical decision, whether to take a job at a call center or pursue higher studies in Advanced Computing. It was a tough one but I am glad I made the right decision. I opted to study further and landed up with a good job.
The experiences I had at my first job will remain with me for life. I was introduced to the corporate culture. This culture was new to me and there were many instances when I felt like a vulnerable novice. In many ways it has made me the person I am today. Although I learnt a lot technically, my book will be dedicated to what I learnt about people and their circumstances. Circumstances change and they change people along with them. This will be the underlying theme of my book. Manyatimes one may feel helpless at the turn of events and that is when you realize that it is better to change before time demands you to change.
Through this book I would like to share my experiences. Experiences of surprise, delusion, happiness, failure and success. The sinking feeling of betrayal and the exhilarating feeling of victory. The art to keep a secret and the art to get one out. The importance to have knowledge of happenings around and consequences of not knowing them. Experiences that taught me how to change time rather than changing along with it.

Chronicles of a Rainy Day

Whenever it rains, it makes me forget all my pain
Through ups and downs, no matter what, I rebound.
The butterflies rest and the flowers bloom,
so beautiful is nature that my heart sings to it's tune.

The drums of thunder, violin of a droplet
Soothes my soul and makes my heart scarlet
Rabindra sangeet it is for the day,
for there is no one better than Gurudev who described the rains.

Now that my heart is joyous and sadness nowhere near
it's time to worship my stomach without any fear
The smell of potatoes call me there
where there are bhajjiyas to be to be serverd with some care

The night brought darkness and birds have hid
the lights went off as they always did
Some pole must have fallen or a tree tumbled
man can't solve nature's eccentric puzzle

Flooded are the roads and some homes too
Why has nature brought fury and not love to do
The drums sound like war cries and violins give me pain
probably it's time for rain to go back to a dry terrain.

Somewhere out there, there is someone who needs you more
He cries for water, kills himself for your disdain
please help him with your tender drops,
whenever it rains, it will cease his pain.

Intuitions

Has it ever happened to you that you feel something and it happens! Well, for me it keeps happening. It is not necessarily a good thing.If one intutes about a bad experience and it happens, you will be scaredof thinking. Alliance Francaise has organised a party today. I bought the tickets last weekend itself. Even my friend was interested in coming, so I bought tickets for both of us. We had planned to go together. However, ever since the time the plan was made, I had this feeling thatthis won't work out. He will refuse at the last moment. I was so sureabout it that I shot a mail to him this morning, asking what time he would meet me.I was right, he had some deadline to meet and he couldn't make it.The frequency of my intuitions hitting bull's eye is amazing but that doesn't mean that I cherish the quality I have. It is believed that dreams can hold the key to our future. For instance, the belief goes that if you dream that someone in your family is getting married, there willbe a death in your family. I did not believe this when I first heard it. Was I right ? Not quite. My grandfather had been going through a phase of bad health for a long time. Almost a year. Suddenly one night I dreamt that my cousin was getting married. When I wokeup, the first think that I heard was that he passed away. I was shocked. I was stunned, I couldn't say a word. I got over this shock as time passed by. However this wouldn't be the last time that my intuitionwould scare me. Late in 2003, my aunt fell sick. After a few months my aunt and her family came down to Mumbai for her treatment. I took leave for a couple of days and went to Mumbai. I didn't sense much trouble the first few days. On my last day of leave, I booked bus tickets for Pune. Before leavingI went to meet my aunt in the hospital. I don't know what struck me but I walked out of that hospital room,staright into a phone booth, called up my colleague and told her that I wouldn't be returning to workfor the next 3 days. I did not take that bus. I slept that night, a bit apprehensive. I was woken up earlymorning, around 4am. There was a call from the hospital. My aunt had passed away. Manyatimes small incidents which happen, like taking a bus or a trip or even losing a match, I perceive them. Most people wouldn't believe me when I tell them, "I knew this would happen." Can't blame them. Science does not explain intuitions. Science doesn't explain God too. We don't stop believing in Him, do we? Although scared sometimes, I choose to trust my intuitions. somehow, somewhere inside us, we know what will happen the next moment, don't we?

Secrets

There are two issues here:
Why do we need to keep secrets from others?Why can't others, especially your trusted friends keep secrets to themselves?
The former is an open question subject to change from person to person.However the latter is one whose results show amazing consistency. The consistency with which most of my friends have failed me. From the good ones to the best.When a person whom I don't know that well or I don't rely on too much spills the beans, I don't feel so bad. However, when it comes to my close friends, that really hurts. I can often not forgive them for years, call it weakness or a grudge. I do like keeping somethings restricted to a very small circle of people.
Initially I was very biased against the weaker sex. Although one of my closest and most trusted confidant is a lady, who has never failed me till date, I always generalised that women have a loose tongue.I was WRONG!!! Believe me, we are as bad as the women. When it comes to gossip, men have equal if not more achievements than women.
I may still forget the wound of betrayal if people accept their mistakes with a straight face.But there are some who will apologise and still say "I had no idea you wanted me to keep this to myself,but if I have hurt you, I am sorry" This is really iirritating, what in Hindi is called "Ek to chori uske upar seena zori". And then there are some innocent ones who say "I didn't mean to say it that way, it's just that he/she understood it that way".Wow, these people should start teaching telepathy. Did you guys get a degree in reading between the lines?
Fed up of betrayals I keep telling myself, trust no one but you. I wish I could follow what my mind says.

Heart will find a way...

Oh my mind, where are you going, for what are you going?
What remains unfound yet, that you seek.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


You keep wandering like a deer in a thick forest.
When will you find that river which will quench your thirst.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


In the journey of life, comes the stop of love.
The heart says this is that river.
But mind wouldn't listen.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


There will come a time when my mind you will say,
I told you not to listen to the heart.
But try and understand, it is better to regret ,
what one has done than to regret what one hasn't done.
Hey mind, understand what the heart says.


Oh my mind tell me, what the heart says to you.
Don't hide it from yourself, just do it!

Gift of the gab for the cab

I have been thinking about doing a MBA for quite sometime now. All brochures for MBAs would normally have the same line about how they would create a world class manager out of you. However this was something I never understood. Is it possible to make a world class manager out of someone who doesn't want to open up to people or someone who doesn't have the gift of the gab. Since long I had always doubted myself, on how effective I would be if I were to manage a team. However all my inhibitions thrashed by one experience. I am a rash driver. Believe me that's an understatement. I have banged my Alto(no pun intended) half a dozen times in past 18 months. Although the Pune roads and public have to take some part of the blame, I can't escape from the fact that I am a hopeless driver. After banging my car the last time in April, I decided that this was enough and I am no longer driving my car on a regular basis. So I started going to office by rickshaw. Manyatimes I would walk down from office. After all I loved walking and 9 kms wasn't much for me. The walk down through the army camp was lovely in the evenings, only till the rains came. The rains threw me offtrack. I had to look for other options. I decided to start a cab service from Wanawadi to Kalyani Nagar. I did find a good number of people interested for this route but just interested. It wasn't as easy as I thought. People committing and then backtracking, everyone has their own issues and ofcourse the timings had to be settled. I had to counsel each person individually to solve their problems. Also sometimes had to make the difficult decision to say "no" to people. The toughest part for me was to create a feeling of trust in people who didn't know me at all. Rather I had to make myself believe that these people will trust me. In short, I had to make full use of my gift of the gab which I felt I never had. I am human, I make mistakes in judgment!
Managing all this for 3 weeks was some task but when we finally started the van I felt I had accomplished something. My first task as a manager was done. Now I will have to see to it that this cab keeps running smoothly and we move on to a better option. A smooth transition. Doesn't this sound so familiar. Well, this experience has helped me get over my complex, so are you thinking of starting a cab!

Change will never change

There are so many pieces which are scattered around, here and there. I need to pick them up and fix it.
The moment I fix one, the other breaks. If life were a furniture, I would go and buy a new one.
But we can't get a new life, can we! Our past never seems to stop following us. Mistakes of the past keep
hounding one like hungry wolves. Well, maybe not that bad, maybe I am just exggerating it but life sucks.
Sometimes in life one feels that there is no destination. It is aimless. Just imagine sitting in a bus and not knowing where
you have to get down. The anxiety, the impatience and the fear. Thats exactly how you feel when you don't know
where your life is taking you. So do you have a destination?
This is exactly what I asked myself a few months back. I decided to introspect and decided what I wanted to do
in life. However once I did decide and got down to doing it, I am confused once again. Do I really want to do this
or is it just a big mistake. Desire stems from dissatisfaction of your present situation. If one were happy and satisfied
with what he/she had then he/she wouldn't look for more or a change. However Change is constant. Change is that law of
nature which has never changed. So before your life changes without your permission, go ahead and change it yourself.
Easier said than done. Try changing your life. Try taking a major step in life. Try doing something you alsways wanted to do
but never did because it wasn't a norm to do it. The hurdles start, your family,society,relatives,neighbours,colleagues.
Not one person will leave the chance to question you or ridicule your ideas. The ones who support you will either be your friends
or the ones who see some benefits for themselves in your step. However these hurdles won't pose a big problem if you have faith in
yourself. Yes, only if you have faith in yourself, that is not the easy part by far.Faith in God is easy. Then why is it so difficult to have faith in yourself.
Whatever the philosophy of life might be, the fact is that my life is still a mess and I am feeling too lazy to arrange it.
So let time do it for me.